


Pages from the past

by FaeMelody



Category: Waterloo Road (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28030554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeMelody/pseuds/FaeMelody
Summary: From the time he was a child, Eddie hated seeing a woman upset. Especially when he was the cause. But when it causes a whole new confrontation with Rachel, she's driven to a decision that may have unintended consequences for both of them.
Relationships: Eddie Lawson/Rachel Mason
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

For as long as Eddie Lawson could remember, he’d had one very particular weakness. He suspected it stemmed from having three sisters, one of whom was several years younger than him, or a mother he was close to. But for as long as he could remember, he had never been able to cope with a woman crying in front of him.

Rather ridiculous, he knew, especially for a grown man. But he couldn’t help it. Whatever his feelings towards Hordley and what Rachel had done were, he found himself feeling overwhelmingly guilty whenever he remember the choked, slightly desperate voice his headteacher had in his classroom earlier, or the hurt look in her eyes when they’d been in her office. The tears she’d fought back when he’d threatened to go to the LEA. He’d caused that, and the knowledge had nausea welling up inside him.

Even when he’d been a child, he’d never liked seeing a woman cry and it wasn’t something he’d lost with time. Whether it had been his mother, one of his sisters or a classmate, tears stopped him in his tracks. He liked it even less when he was partially to blame, he admitted to himself with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck and grimacing.

On the desk where he was sat, the brown envelope that contained his resignation letter was staring at him. Half of him was tempted to go and deliver it at that very moment, as it had been for the past hour, but the other half rebelled against the idea of leaving the job he’d had for only a few months. Not to mention he knew first-hand the trouble he was would cause, leaving Rachel and the school without a deputy midway through the year, especially when he was overseeing so many unique facets that an outsider would have trouble getting to know with any sort of speed…

Eddie blinked. What did he care about causing trouble to Rachel? She was the one who had caused issues, the one who had lied and… he couldn’t even convince himself. All his anger and fury had died in the face of her obvious distress, and the pain in her voice when she said aloud what they’d both been thinking- he couldn’t see past what she’d done.

His face was going red from where he kept scrubbing it with his hands, he was sure. He’d spent half his career preaching that the past didn’t matter, that kids needed to have second chances. So why didn’t that apply to Rachel? Eddie groaned, and before he could change his mind yet again, the envelope was shoved into the bottom of his bag, where he could at least forget about it for tonight. It would make no difference if he gave it in tomorrow instead. And in the meantime, he’d talk to Rachel and apologise for his harsher words; hopefully, they could salvage something from this mess and figure out what to do with Hordley, because regardless of anything else there was no way Eddie was allowing that particular facet of this situation to lie.

He found himself turning their argument over and over in his head as he headed down the car park, trying to figure out exactly what to say when he saw Rachel the next morning. This whole thing was a disaster, he thought, before he paused. He hadn’t quite made it to his car- not far down the row, Rachel was leant against the back of her own vehicle, apparently staring out across the grounds. Not that she could see much, the lights not extending past the edge of the concrete. Eddie’s brow furrowed at the odd behaviour- it was late, and while she was known for staying long past finishing to do paperwork, this was… more unusual.

He hesitated. The place was almost empty, not even the cleaners were still there now and as much as he wanted to put this off until morning, he couldn’t. Not only for his own peace of mind, but also because there was no way for him to drive out without being noticed, and that would just make everything worse. He mentally steeled himself, began the walk up towards her but quickly realised there was a reason she hadn’t spotted him yet- even when he was still a fair distance away, he could hear the sound of her voice, and realised she had a phone pressed to her ear.

“Things aren't that simple. Don’t you think I would have done that if I could?”

Eddie slowed, not actively meaning to listen but unable to help himself. Was she talking to Hordley? A boyfriend?

“As if that matters.” Rachel let out a bitter laugh, and he thought he could hear tears in her voice. “All Eddie sees when he looks at me is a former whore who spread her legs for money. And how can I blame him?”

Ice pooled in Eddie’s stomach. That was merely a cruder way of saying what she’d accused him of earlier, but hearing it like that was worse. And, he realised with a rapidly sinking heart, untrue. Had he really given her that impression? He’d been angry, yes, more at her lies and deceit than anything else, and especially at everything he suspected had happened with Hordley. But of course that wasn’t all he saw when he looked at her.

“The world doesn’t work like that, Mel,” Rachel was saying, and he saw her swipe roughly at her face with her hand. “No of course not- you have a job and a son, I don’t need you to... no don’t be silly. Melissa, I’m fine, I don’t need you to come. Yes, I’m sure.”

Eddie began to move closer again, sensing her conversation was wrapping up and wondering who Melissa was. Obviously not a boyfriend, but someone she trusted. And then he wondered why he cared. Rachel didn’t notice him coming closer, glancing down as she listened to whoever was on the other end of her phone. “I love you too- I still don’t need you to come. Say hi to Philip for me. Bye.”

She hung up, and Eddie watched as she ran a hand over her face, sagging against her car.

“Rachel?”

She jolted, gasping and barely keeping her phone from slipping from her grasp. “Eddie! Don’t do that!”

“Sorry.”

She’d quickly ducked her head to hide her face and was attempting to discreetly wipe away her tears, swallowing thickly to normalise her voice before she spoke. “Whatever it is, Eddie, can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

He eased himself next to her, felt his stomach knot when she instantly looked wary. “Who’s Melissa?” He questioned curiously, and irritation flashed across her face, but when she spoke her voice was lacking any real bite.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to eavesdrop?”

“You’re in a public car park,” he pointed out bitingly, instantly wincing when she hid a flinch. It was disturbing to watch her withdraw inwards, wiping any trace of the confident headteacher he’d first known away.

“She’s my sister,” she murmured after a few seconds. Definitely not a boyfriend then, Eddie thought with some humour, and then wondered again why he was caught up on that. Rachel was oblivious to his thoughts, eye fixed away from him. “Exactly how much did you hear?”

He sighed. “Enough to know I owe you an apology.”

“What?”

“Rachel… I don’t only see your past when I look at you,” he said gently, and she jerked, stiffening.

“We’re not having this conversation.” She pushed herself upright, made to move away but he caught hold her wrist and stopped her, missing the way she inhaled sharply, eyeing his hand with an inscrutable expression on her face.

“We need to have it.”

A weary looked crossed her face. “A few hours ago I was nothing but a liar, and this morning I was screwing Stuart Hordley. Are you ever going to make your mind up, Eddie?”

“I never said that!”

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and he grimaced. If he were honest, he couldn’t remember if he’d explicitly said it- he’d been fairly angry at the time- but even if he hadn’t, he had probably insinuated it. He studied her for a moment, felt the weight in his chest grow even heavier at her red rimmed eyes and exhausted expression. “I don’t only see your past,” he repeated quietly, and if he hadn’t been watching her so closely he would never have seen the faint disbelief that rippled across her face. “I don’t like what’s going on with Hordley,” he said frankly. “And I hate that he’s getting away with this. He blackmailed you, for God’s sake.”

“Why can’t you just leave it alone?” she half snapped, half pleaded, finally succeeding in pulling her arm free of his grip and quickly backing up a few steps.

“Because I want to help you!”

She looked genuinely baffled. “Why?”

“I thought we were friends, Rachel.” He tilted his head at her, hands slightly out in front of him to appear as non-threatening as possible. She reminded him of a startled rabbit, tense and on the verge of fleeing any moment. “Or at least on our way to becoming such. I want to help stop Hordley- you can’t honestly be so dense as to think he didn’t keep a copy of that article. He’s going to come back, everywhere you go, anything you do, he’ll be expecting the same favours. Not to mention that what he’s done is wrong!”

She looked stricken, turning away and wrapping her arms around herself. He hovered awkwardly, unsure whether to step closer or not. “Why did you have to go looking through my desk?” her voice was hoarse, her knuckled clenched so tightly they were white. “Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?”

He tilted his head, genuinely curious. “Aren’t you even a little glad there’s at least one person you don’t have to lie to anymore?”

“Glad?” She looked incredulous. “How could I ever be glad to know that every time you or Hordley look at me, you’re thinking of...” she cut herself off and looked away, attempting to swallow the lump in her throat. Eddie grimaced.

“That’s not true, Rachel.”

“Isn’t it?”

“ _No_ ,” he emphasised. “I should have made it clearer earlier. Rachel, he’s going to come back for something else, he’s never going to leave this alone.”

“He won’t-,”

“Don’t be foolish, Rachel!” he snapped, losing all patience and she fell quiet, the following silence between them almost too loud.

“All I ever wanted was to help these kids,” she almost whispered after a moment, “to make sure no child ever had to do what I did. To be more than what everyone else said they were. Was that really so wrong, Eddie? Was wanting to help really so wrong?”

He softened abruptly at her words. “No. No, of course not.”

She sagged, the fight escaping her and she practically fell back against her car, eyes staring unseeingly over the fields. “Two decades I’ve kept this secret. Now it’s all coming apart because Hordley couldn’t keep to a damn budget.”

It was getting late, Eddie noted, the sky above them darkening and the breeze chilling. Rachel didn’t seem to notice.

“He’s a slime ball,” he said softly and she gave a humourless laugh.

“No arguments there.”

He stayed quiet, hoping it would prompt her into speaking. For a few heartbeats, nothing was said and he was just beginning to think it wasn’t going to work, when she sighed. “I wasn’t going to do it, you know,” she said softly. “When he was just threatening me, I had no intention of doing as he wanted.”

“What changed?”

“Bolton.”

His forehead creased in confusion. “Bolton?”

She nodded, still not looking at him. “Stuart gave him the job solely to gain access to him. I believe his exact words were that he could undo all we’d accomplished with him in about a week.”

His jaw dropped. “Son of a-,”

“Eddie!”

Her head had whipped around, but to his delight amusement glinted in her eyes, the first positive emotion he’d seen throughout the entire conversation. He grinned at her, could see her visibly soften towards him. “He played you, Rach,” he said, sobering slightly. “Anyone with half a brain knows how much you care about the kids. He knew exactly how to get to you.”

“Well, it worked,” she said bitterly. “I couldn’t let him harm Bolton. And then...”

“Then you were in too deep,” he finished, and she nodded.

“So now you know. Happy?”

He frowned. “Of course not. Why would I be happy?”

She waved a hand, looking indescribably sad. “Can’t you just forget about all this, Eddie?” she requested quietly. “Pretend it never happened, go back to a few weeks ago?”

Oh, how he wished he could. “No, Rach.” He shook his head. “Every time I see him, or that building, I’m going to know.”

She closed her eyes, a single tear escaping to trickle down her cheek and faint alarm ran through him. “Don’t cry,” he almost begged, and anger at herself ran through her, causing her to turn away from him as she tried to swallow back tears. She’d managed perfectly well for twenty years all by herself- why now was she suddenly unable to control her emotions?

“We’ll figure this out,” Eddie had continued, hands hovering as he tried to decide whether to reach out to her or not. “I want to help you.”

But she shook her head, her anger at herself leaking into her voice through her harsh tone. “Stay out of it, Eddie!”

“I can’t do that.” He didn’t move as she let out a small sound of frustration, fists clenching. For a moment, Eddie was quiet, contemplating her and when he spoke, it was without putting much thought into his words. “You don’t get much help, do you?”

She spun to face him, a wash of emotions crossed her face, confusion being the most prominent one he recognised. “What?”

He stepped closer, hands coming to rest on her elbows. “Rachel- let me help you. I know what I’m getting into.” She shook her head, trying to pull away but he tightened his grip once again. “Why not?” he demanded.

“Please...”

“Rachel-,”

“I said no!” she pushed his arms away, hastily backing away. She shook her head, unsure even herself whether she was shaking it no or shaking in an attempt clear it. Regardless, she was done. She fumbled for her keys, unlocking the car without looking and ignoring Eddie’s attempts to call out, to stop her. As quickly as she could, she climbed in, grateful when he seemed to get the message and backed up a few steps to allow her to drive away without issue.

As she did so, she risked a glance in the mirror. Her deputy was still standing in the same spot, watching her car with an inscrutable expression on his face.

She shuddered, returning her gaze to the road and resolutely ignoring the nauseous feeling swirling inside.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Eddie was early enough to work that his was one of the only cars in the car park. He’d done it on purpose- it meant that when Rachel walked in, he was comfortably sat behind her desk in her office, waiting for her. She did a double take when she saw him, a dozen emotions flashing across her face too fast for him to read. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you.”

She frowned, came in further to place her bag down. “Eddie, please...”

He held his hands up. “I didn’t come here to argue with you again.”

“Then what?”

“I came here to tell you I’m not dropping it.” He looked at her calmly. “I’m not letting Hordley get away with what he’s done. And I would like to be on the same side in this, Rach. But even if you’re not, I’m not going to let it rest. I can’t.”

He’d come to stand in front of her, jaw set and she could only look at him tiredly. “And when he retaliates? Eddie, what then?”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Rachel. There might be some moaning, but you won’t be fired.”

“You can’t be sure of that! And even if I wasn’t- do you really think I could stay, carry on as if nothing’s happened? Hundreds of parents find out an ex-prostitute’s running their kids school- what d’you think they’re going to do, congratulate me? They’ll be after my blood and I couldn’t blame them!”

He shook his head. “It was a long time ago…”

“Do you really believe that will matter? It hasn’t to you!” She had her arms wrapped around herself, looking almost too small in the room, and Eddie felt a stab of guilt. “Apart from anything,” she continued quietly when he didn’t speak, “do you really think I want everyone knowing?”

Eddie had no answer to that.

She wandered over to the window, stared out unseeingly. She was fighting back tears, desperately trying to swallow the lump in her throat and resolutely refusing to look around her deputy.

But it seemed that in itself was enough to raise his suspicions and she heard the rustle of his clothes as he came closer, circling around the side of her. She ducked her head to hide her face, and so missed the stricken look on his. She hadn’t been quick enough to stop him seeing the tears. “Don’t, Rach,” he almost pleaded and for a moment his tone didn’t register. Until it did, and she looked at him oddly. It was only another second for her to connect the dots between this conversation and their one in the car park, and she gave a bark of teary laughter.

“Is that what this is about?” she wondered, amusement entering her tone. “Eddie Lawson, undone by crying?”

He shifted uncomfortably, flushing pink and hoped she wouldn’t notice. “I don’t like seeing women cry,” he defended, “especially not when I’m the cause.”

She let out a hysterical giggle, covering her mouth with her hand when he looked unimpressed. “Explains last night,” she murmured, half to herself. “Well, you can stop feeling guilty. None of this is your fault.”

“I made you cry- pretty sure that is my fault.”

But she shook her head, pressing her fingers to her eyes. “I’m just tired,” she murmured. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Too late.”

She looked up in faint surprise, eyes meeting his and both stilled. They were inches away from each other, far closer than was appropriate for even friends, let alone colleagues. Close enough that Eddie could see the flecks of colour in Rachel’s irises, the multitude of shades that made up her unique hue. Could see the way her lips had parted slightly, the way she barely seemed to breathe as they both stood motionless.

For one, long moment neither dared to move.

Eddie’s heart was threatening to burst out of his chest, he was certain that she must be able to hear it. It thundered in his ears, against his breastbone, his eyes darkening as he seemed unable to tear his gaze away from hers. She looked uncharacteristically uncertain, frozen in place as she swallowed thickly and Eddie had no doubt that she was feeling exactly the same as him, mouth dry and stomach somersaulting.

“Rachel...”

Her name, no matter how quietly he’d breathed it, seemed to break through the tension and Rachel hastily stepped back, inhaling sharply. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed- she was his boss, his relatively new boss and they were in the middle of yet another Waterloo Road disaster… and yet, he’d wanted nothing more than to lower his lips to hers. It would have been so easy, for both of them to tilt their heads and lean closer until-

Bad idea, bad idea, he scolded himself, and forced his brain to focus on other matters.

“We’ll come up with something,” he found himself saying, “something to stop Hordley releasing the article, or blackmailing you further.”

Rachel had turned away when he’d been distracted, was determinedly facing the window. “Don’t you think I’ve tried to come up with something?”

“Two heads are better than one. Maybe together we’ll think of a plan.”

“Eddie…”

“I’m not giving up.” He reached out to touch her shoulder but hesitated, his hand hovering an inch away. It fell back to his side without making contact, Rachel entirely unaware. “And I’m not letting Hordley get away with it either.” Overhead, the bell rang, and Eddie cursed when he remembered he had students who would be waiting for him. “I’ll see you later?”

Rachel nodded silently, not turning around until she heard his footsteps moving across the room and looked just in time to see him disappearing out the door. Only then did she allow herself to blow out a shaky breath, lowering herself down to the sofa on legs that felt like jelly. What on Earth had that been? She’d almost kissed her deputy! What was she thinking?

She pressed her fingers to her lips, taking an unsteady breath in. God, she’d wanted him to kiss her. And what’s more, she was certain he’d wanted to as well. What was wrong with her? She was his boss, it was completely unprofessional not to mention a ridiculous way to shatter the reputation she’d so carefully crafted over her entire career. But despite all of that, there was a part of her that was bitterly disappointed that neither had been brave enough to close that gap between them...

She shook her head slightly, frustrated with her line of thoughts. She couldn’t fool herself- it had been a moment of weakness, a physical reaction on Eddie’s part brought on by the heightened tension in the room and how they’d been standing. As soon as he realised who he’d been in front of, he’d be disgusted. There was no way he’d want her, not after everything he knew.

Best to forget it, she thought decisively, and resolutely ignored the small, wistful part of her that wished she didn’t have to.

**W.R.**

Eddie wasn’t sure how Rachel had done it, but somehow, she’d managed to completely vanish in a school of eagle-eyed teenagers. He’d gone to see her at breaktime, but she’d been missing from her office. She’d briefly been in the canteen, according to Tom, but left within minutes and Eddie had no idea where she’d gone. And unfortunately, the twenty minutes of morning break wasn’t enough to find her.

He tried again at lunchtime, only to find himself in the same scenario. An empty office, a few sightings but no sign of the woman herself. Eddie’s jaw was set, eyes darkened as he stalked through the corridors of the school. He wasn’t fooled for a second- this wasn’t a coincidence.

It was almost the end of lunch by the time he tracked her down, on the playground where he’d already checked twice. She was deep in conversation with one of the year seven’s, and glanced up when she felt his eyes on her. He saw her tense, an inscrutable expression flashing across her face before she quickly turned away.

That was okay. Eddie could be patient. He crossed his arms, leant back against the wall and didn’t take his gaze away from her. He could see her shoulders growing stiffer, saw the way her fingers twisted in her coat for a second before she forcibly relaxed.

Eddie saw the conversation winding down, readied himself to intercept Rachel before she could hurry away. They needed to hash this out, and hiding from him in the middle of the school day was plain ridiculous, not to mention-

“Eddie? Fight in the canteen!”

For the love of… he closed his eyes, obediently turned to follow Matt away and so didn’t see Rachel’s glance, her small sigh of relief when she spotted her deputy leaving. It was childish, she knew, avoiding him like this, but it was the only thing she could do. He was so set on dealing with Hordley; she knew better, knew that men like that couldn’t be dissuaded. Not by tame Eddie Lawson, at least.

She froze mid-step, inhaling sharply as her mind whirred. It hadn’t occurred to her before, probably wouldn’t have if Hordley had been blackmailing her about anything else. She had spent two decades trying to shove Amanda into the recesses of her mind but now, she’d been dragged firmly into the present, and perhaps for once in her life Rachel could use that to her advantage.

She barely remembered the journey back to her office, found herself pacing and chewing her lip as she worried over the idea that had occurred to her. It might just be possible, she thought, but did she really want to go there? She picked up her phone, put it down again. It would be opening up a can of worms, thrusting her back into a role she’d sworn she had given up. But on the other hand, it might get rid of Stuart before Eddie did something foolish. She unlocked her phone, but paused. Did she really want to do this?

She locked it again and threw it down. Maybe Eddie was right, maybe she should just go to the police. She’d have to swallow the consequences but at least Bolton and every other child would be safe.

But they wouldn’t. She slumped back against her chair with a frown. It would be her word against Stuart’s, and she didn’t have a bit of proof while he apparently had a whole folder. Her phone was back in her hand, but she merely stared at it indecisively. She tossed it into her bag, turned to her laptop. Grabbed it again, didn’t get further than the phonebook.

Rachel groaned, and ran a hand through her hair. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman. She needed to make a decision, and stick with it. Especially as she’d been sat here for well over half an hour and hadn’t even managed to take her coat off.

She’d just hung it up when she heard footsteps storming in her direction, and knew even without seeing that it was going to be Eddie. He burst in, pinned her with a glare. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

She ducked her head, turned towards her desk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The bang of her office door had her jolting, barely over the shock when she found herself being forcibly spun to face Eddie, the movement sending her stumbling and grasping at anything to maintain her balance. “Hey!”

Eddie quickly steadied her, faint guilt rippling across his face. But he said nothing, instead forcing her to look at him. “Don’t lie to me. You usually live in your office, but you’ve spent more time out of it today than in.”

“Don’t you have a class to teach?”

“Non-contact time. Don’t change the subject.”

She swallowed thickly. “Eddie, I asked you to leave it.”

“And I told you that’s not going to happen.”

Rachel sighed, sagged against her desk. “I… have a plan,” she admitted reluctantly. “But you have to stay out of it.”

“Rachel-”

“I mean it!” Her tone was fierce and resolute, and he fell silent. “I don’t want you involved. I _need_ you not to be. Please, Eddie?”

There was something in her tone that had him pausing, prevented him from his instinctive refusal. A note, one he couldn’t quite pinpoint but one that had him nodding slowly before he’d even consented to agreeing. “A week,” he said slowly. “You have a week.”

Her mouth was suddenly dry, stomach heaving. “A week,” she agreed, and he cast one, measured look at her before he spun on his heel and was gone.

She closed her eyes, stumbled to the sofa and sank onto it. She didn’t know when she’d picked up her mobile, but it was in her hand and she dialled the number from memory, the digits burnt into her brain even all these years later. The line rang twice, precisely, until it was picked up. There was silence on the other end.

“It’s Amanda Fenshaw.” The name felt wrong in her mouth, tasted of ash and stale tobacco. “I need to call in the favour you owe me.”

Silence. She counted her breaths- one, two, three exhales. And then a voice. “I’ll be there tonight.”


	3. Chapter 3

If Rachel ever found out what he was doing, Eddie suspected that she would never forgive him, which was why he was currently sat in a pub nowhere near neither Waterloo Road nor her house. A desperate effort to avoid being seen not only by her but by anyone who might even mention his presence to her. Not that she would really have a leg to stand on, he thought, taking a swig of his beer. Though pointing that out probably wouldn’t go down very well.

“Eddie.”

He grinned at the sound of his name, rising to his feet as he looked up and greeted the man in front of him with a friendly handshake and clap on the back. “Andy, how are you?”

“Not bad, not bad.” They sat, each ordered another pint, exchanged the necessary small talk. Sorry to hear what happened, how’s the wife, kids are well, work’s fine. The usual stuff that came with adult life. Until Eddie found himself being given a measured look, Andy leaning back in his seat. “So, what’s all this about then? I haven’t seen you in couple of years now, I don’t believe this is a friendly catch up.”

He was right, Eddie thought. It had been far too long since he’d seen the other man, life and work had simply gotten in the way, as they tended to do. How long had they known each other known each other now? They’d been schoolmates, on the same football team. They’d remained friendly, meeting up every so often even after Eddie had branched off to go to university while Andy had joined the police straight from school, working his way up to where he was now. He had a wife and three kids, a dog, the kind of steady, hectic life that Eddie had dreamed of once. It was also the kind of busy life that precluded frequent get togethers with old friends, unfortunately. Eddie gave him an apologetic look. “I need some advice,” he admitted. Andy raised an eyebrow, wariness entering his gaze.

“Are you in trouble?”

“Not me.” Eddie took a deep breath. “It’s... a friend of mine. They’re being blackmailed by this guy, over something in their past.”

Andy took a gulp of beer. “For how much?”

“No money involved. It’s for a professional contract, first to make sure he was in the running and then to make sure he got it. When my friend initially refused, he threatened... someone they cared about.”

Andy had a frown on his face. “So your friend caved?”

“Yes. But it’s not right. I just want to know, legally, if there’s anything...” Eddie trailed off, spread his hands somewhat helplessly.

“Do you have any proof?”

He faltered. “No. It’s all been done in person, with no witnesses.”

Andy grimaced. “Then it’s your friend’s word against this guy’s.”

“Exactly,” Eddie said quietly. “And I don’t think his threats are empty.”

His gaze grew sharp, tone tense. “Do you think your friend’s in danger?”

The question threw Eddie. Hadn’t Rachel already been put it danger? He chewed his lip, uncertain as he tried to decide on an answer. Stuart hadn’t shown any signs of being a physical danger, and yet anyone who was willing to blackmail someone for a building contract... “I don’t know.”

Andy sighed. “Look, without a formal complaint by your friend my hands are tied. And without any sort of proof…”

Eddie knew that outcome had been likely, but that didn’t stop the bitter disappointment from flooding through him. Seeing Hordley hauled away in handcuffs would have been pretty satisfying, after all.

“Why don’t I make some phone calls about this guy?” Andy suggested. “Poke around a bit, see what I can find. There’s no guarantees, but-,”

“That would be great.” Eddie was too thrilled to care that he’d interrupted rather rudely. “His name’s Hordley, Stuart Hordley. He runs a construction company named after himself.”

He had no idea whether anything would come of it, nor what Rachel’s reaction would be when she found out (because he wasn’t hopeful enough to believe that she wouldn’t). But if it meant that Hordley was no longer an issue? Then he could live with the consequences, whatever they might be.

**W.R.**

Oblivious to the actions of her deputy, on the other side of town Rachel was leant against a set of railings at the park, eyes flicking anxiously between every person who came anywhere near her, which wasn’t a large number this late in the evening on a chilly day. Her stomach was constantly rolling, teeth worrying her lip as she pondered what she was about to do.

She hadn’t even been surprised when the email popped up in her inbox. From an unfamiliar address with a generic name, a single line of text with instructions for where to go and when. Which had led her here, and she was beginning to wonder if she’d made a mistake.

“Rachel Mason. Risen from the ashes of Amanda Fenshaw. Almost like a fairy tale.”

Rachel stiffened, taking a deep breath as she turned, swallowed thickly. “Not one that I’ve ever heard.”

The man in front of her chuckled, footsteps silent as he moved to lean beside her. “You got out. Not only that, but you stayed out. There are not many who can say the same.”

“Apparently, not as cleanly as I would like.” Her voice was quiet, gaze fixed on a runner in the distance. “That’s what I need help with.”

“Tell me.”

So she did. About Tess, Stuart, the bid, Bolton and the meeting and everything she’d done and finally Eddie, who had stumbled headfirst into something she knew he didn’t fully understand and now would pay the price in some way, if she couldn’t stop it. Once she’d fallen silent, the only sound for the longest minute was their breathing, but oddly, she felt almost better for having told someone the full story.

“You’re a fool. You should never have done what he asked.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. “I know. I was desperate.”

“Desperate people make mistakes.”

“Don’t I know it.”

A loud exhale, the click of a lighter. “You know what men like that are like. Big egos and loose morals are never a winning combination.”

“Your point?”

She could feel his eyes boring into her. “There are precious few ways to deal with a man like that. Which would you prefer?”

Bile rose up in her throat. She was barely aware that her hands had tightened around the rail, knuckles white and blanched. When she spoke, her voice was barely louder than a whisper. “You’re the expert.”

She felt as much as heard his huff of laughter. “Then consider it done. I will contact you afterwards.”

Afterwards. God, what had she just agreed to?

“Rachel.” The voice was sharp, a warning tone audible. “This is a two-way street.”

“You were never here, we never spoke, when in doubt deny everything. I remember.” She half-wished she didn’t. “Some of Amanda is still left underneath, you don’t need to worry.” And didn’t she hate how true that was.

“Good.”

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, willing the trembling in her fingers to go away. She couldn’t do it- she needed to know what he was going to do. She turned around, intending to question him, to demand to know how exactly he planned to deal with Stuart but to her shock, there was no one there. She was alone.

There was no one on the path in either direction, it was as if he’d vanished into thin air and for a split second, she wondered if she’d hallucinated the entire exchange. But she could smell the faint scent of cigarettes lingering in the air- there had been another person here. She gripped the railing tightly, tilted her head to look up at the sky and concentrated on breathing evenly as she willed the nausea deep in her stomach to disappear.


	4. Chapter 4

There were some days at Waterloo Road where Eddie genuinely wondered how every child in the school managed to get to the right place at vaguely the right time. Today was one of those days. There was a fight between two year twelves, one of the humanities teacher’s hadn’t shown up and his class had run riot, some of the ceiling tiles had fallen down in the science corridor and now the whole area was out of action until someone managed to fix them and stop the rest coming down too. The rough weather outside seemed to correspond to the kids running wild, and even the usually loud noise level in the school seemed to have increased, the dark clouds and bright classroom lights apparently triggering something in all of them.

Eddie was done with the day already, and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. Which was why, when Paul dashed towards him down the corridor, his stomach sank through the floor. “Sir! You have to come, the whole corridor is flooded!”

What.

Sure enough, two minutes later Eddie was staring in frustration at a corridor that was rapidly filling with water. Water that was coming, he noticed, from the boy’s toilets. And water that must have been there for some time to have gotten to the depth it currently was. “Who did this?” he demanded, but received only giggles and smirks from the group on the other side of the lake.

“What on earth…?”

Rachel’s voice sounded from behind him and when he turned to face her, her jaw had dropped open, her eyes fixed on the mess that was rapidly spreading. “Paul’s gone to get the site manager,” he told her, but she didn’t even look at him, running a hand through her hair with a look of frustration.

“Just what we needed.”

Her voice was irritated and tired, and he found himself studying her without meaning to. She had more makeup on than usual, but it wasn’t quite enough to cover the exhaustion that lined her expression. The slightly pinched look around her eyes, the way her hair had been left unstraightened and merely scooped into a ponytail and most of all, the way she was currently glaring angrily at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” He hastily looked away, just in time to see Bolton attempt to shove a year ten into the water. “Smilie!”

**W.R.**

When the final bell had rung, Rachel was obscenely grateful. The usual sounds of the mass exodus of students were muffled by the pounding rain and wind, and she suspected there would be a number of parents in cars waiting beyond the gates. She couldn’t deny that it was kind of calming, however, listening to the rain hit the windows. Calming enough that she convinced herself that she could manage at least half an hour of the paperwork she’d neglected throughout the day.

All of five minutes had passed before there was a cursory knock on her office door before it was flung open, and she didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. “Unless it’s life or death, I don’t want to know.”

Eddie snorted, dropped into the chair in front of her desk. “As far as I know, avoiding anyone pegging it is just about the only thing that’s gone right today.”

She glanced up at him, vaguely amused but refusing to show it. “Did you want something?”

Eddie was silent for a long few beats, long enough that she looked up from her paperwork in vague confusion. He was tapping his fingers on his thigh, looking indecisive before he chose to speak. “I gave you a week…”

Rachel stiffened. “I’m aware,” she said coolly, and Eddie winced. It was almost visible, the way she shut off towards him, as if she’d drawn a mask over her expression in order to shut him out. He didn’t like it, he decided, much preferred the Rachel he’d only caught glimpses of underneath all the layers. That Rachel’s smiles reached her eyes, and her laugh was genuine instead of carefully controlled.

“I want to help you, Rachel,” he said quietly.

“I told you-,”

“I know what you told me,” he interrupted irritably. “You have a plan, you’ll sort it. What plan? Because your last one involved rolling over for Hordley, so you’ll forgive me if I’m dubious.”

Instantly, he knew he shouldn’t have said that. Fury flashed across her face, her entire demeanour darkening. “I don’t answer to you,” she hissed. “Now get out of my office.”

“Or what? You don’t have a leg to stand on here, Rachel, you’re out of options!”

Rachel let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t you think I know that?”

He threw his hands up in the air. “Then why are you so resistant to accepting help?”

“I don’t need help,” she snapped, “especially not yours!”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else lining up to offer!”

Somewhere in the course of the argument, they’d both risen to their feet, leaning over the desk as they snarled at each other. Rachel laughed now, mocking and angry. “That’s the answer, is it? You’re doing this out of pity, or some sense of self-importance?”

“For God’s sake, Rachel!” He slammed his hands down, the sound barely registering against the worsening weather outside. “I’m doing this because I want to help you! Though for the life of me, I can’t figure out why right now!”

“Well, neither can I! I never asked for you to get involved in any of this!”

“Because you were managing so well on your own!”

“Don’t you dare!” Without thinking, in her haze of anger she picked up the first thing she could get her hands on, and flung it at him.

The shock of it had both of them gaping at each other in silence, Eddie’s face a picture of incredulity. “Did you just throw a pen at me?”

It wasn’t intentional, nor particularly desired but without her permission, her lips twitched. She pressed them together, fighting it, but made the mistake of meeting his gaze and before she knew it a giggle had escaped her, hand clapping to her lips as if she could stop the sounds escaping. By that time, Eddie had begun to crack a smile as well, and she couldn’t hold back the rest of her laughter at the knowledge he was amused as well, stepping backwards away from him with her hand still over her mouth, composure lost. Eddie wasn’t faring much better, his chuckles no more restrained and each time he thought he might have sobered himself, he looked at her and lost it again.

He liked seeing Rachel like this. Free in her laughter, no longer the formidable Miss Mason but someone else, someone lighter. Just as she was calming down, he bent, scooped up the pen to deposit it on her desk before looking at her… and they were both gone again.

It was several minutes before either composed themselves. “I’m sorry,” Rachel managed eventually, coming around the desk to drop onto the sofa, unspoken invitation clear. He joined her willingly, shook his head.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t come up here to argue with you. Again.”

She let out a small huff of laughter. “We seem to spend a lot of time arguing.”

He didn’t even think before he reached out, enfolded her hand in hers. Rachel’s breath caught, her eyes widening, gaze sliding down to where they touched before looking back up at Eddie, who barely seemed to notice her reaction. “I’m sure there’s a saying about people who argue frequently,” he mused, wracking his brains. “Can’t remember it though.”

Rachel swallowed down the dryness in her throat, and had her own offering. “That they’ll eventually end up killing each other?”

“Or throwing pens at each other.”

She winced. “Sorry.”

“I’m joking.” He squeezed her hand gently, gave her a lopsided grin. “Alison threw a bookend at me once- least there was less chance of a concussion with this one.”

She smiled tentatively, tilting her head at him. “You’re a peculiar man, Eddie Lawson.”

He continued to grin, shrugged. “Maybe.”

“There’s no maybe about it,” she muttered, but her tone was good-natured and he let it slide away.

“Can I ask you something? Without you getting angry?”

It was like a switch was flicked. Instantly, she stiffened, wariness not-so-subtly hidden in her gaze, but she gave him a tense nod, allowing it. Which was half the battle, he thought, resisting the urge to blow out a breath.

“Why are you so against allowing me to help you?”

“I don’t need-”

“Yes, you do,” he interrupted. “You do need help, Rachel, everyone does. Even if it’s just someone to stand beside you saying you’re not in this alone. Why won’t you accept that.”

She wrenched her hand away from his, rising to her feet and wrapping her arms around herself. Eddie had to fight the urge to go to her- she probably wouldn’t appreciate his thinking how small and vulnerable she looked, curled around herself and illuminated against the window. She didn’t turn to him, but he saw her take a breath in preparation to speak. “My entire life, Eddie, no one has ever been on my side. Not ever. Not a parent, not a teacher, no one. And anyone who has ever offered has always wanted something in return. I fight my own battles because I’ve never had a choice, and neither you nor Stuart bloody Hordley is going to change that.”

She spun with her final words, eyes flashing. Now, Eddie stood, coming closer so that they weren’t talking across the room. “It isn’t a weakness to accept help,” he said gently, and she didn’t quite manage to hide her flinch. “You’ve had some crappy people in your life. I don’t want to help you because I have some ulterior motive or because I want something from you, I want to help you because you’re my friend, and I hate knowing that you’ve been dealing with this alone for however many weeks.”

But Rachel was shaking her head, taking a step back from him. “I’m not an idiot. I know what you think of me.”

“And what’s that?”

“You said yourself, you don’t know me! You know I’m lying because my lips are moving, remember?”

Eddie grimaced. “Rach-,”

“You think I don’t know that you meant every word you’ve said to me over the past few days? You think I don’t realise that whatever I achieve, those two years of my life as a teenager will always be what defines me? I know what I am and I know how you see me and I’m not so stupid as to think it’d ever be possible-”

“Rachel!” He yelled it out, stunning her into silence. Her eyes were wet, but he had no doubt that once she got over the shock, she’d be furious. “None of that is true,” he told her quickly, hoping to head off her anger. “Not even a little bit.”

She looked entirely disbelieving. “That’s not what you said before.”

“I was angry, and… well, a bit of a prick,” he admitted sheepishly. Her entire countenance softened, so minutely that he wouldn’t have even seen it if he hadn’t been watching so carefully. But he did, and it spurned him on. “I think I do know you, Rachel. I know how much you care about the kids, and this school. I’ve seen how hard you fight for them. Your past doesn’t define your present.”

She pressed her lips together, blinked hard. “Eddie... that is the complete opposite of your views before.”

He sighed. “I know. I am sorry, I was angry. I didn’t mean any of those things like that. Your past… it affects the present- it is affecting the present- but it doesn’t define who you are. I know that.”

“Nobody changes their mind that quickly.”

He gave her an exasperated look. “You’re incredibly infuriating.” She didn’t smile, and he sighed. “Rachel…”

“I’m going home.”

He frowned at the abrupt declaration, watching as she turned away from him and began to gather up her things. “We’re not done here.”

“Eddie, please. I’m tired, and I don’t want to argue with you anymore.”

There was something so defeated in her tone, and he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let her go home alone, where he knew she would take his words and twist them in her mind until she’d convinced herself they had some ulterior meaning. “Let me take you for a drink?” he offered quickly. “My shout. And no more talking if you don’t want to.”

She hesitated. She wanted nothing more than a glass of wine- or something stronger- but she cast a dubious look out of the window, where the rain had somehow gotten heavier, lashing against the class. “We might need a canoe. Or a submarine.”

He chuckled. “I’ll do the paddling.”

He was so earnest and hopeful, she couldn’t find it in her to say no. “Okay.”

Eddie beamed at her. She moved past him, intending to put her coat on but misjudged, stumbled, and was kept upright only by Eddie deftly catching hold of her. “Careful…”

She was pressed against him, hand clutching at his arm. “Sorry.”

“No need.” His voice was rough, lower than it had been before and he could only hope she hadn’t noticed. He was acutely aware of every point that she was touching him, her hand still clasped in his, bodies pressed together. He didn’t dare move, was barely daring to breathe.

There was a loud crack from outside, and they both jolted. Rachel hastily stepped backwards, out of his grip, and he had to fight to keep the disappointment flooding him from his expression. “I hope that wasn’t something expensive,” she commented, glancing towards the window.

“Sounds like the wind might have done some damage.”

She hummed an agreement, not looking at him. “If we want to make it to the pub, we should probably leave before it gets too much worse.”

Avoidance it was then, thought Eddie in resignation. But he wouldn’t allow it for long.


	5. Chapter 5

The pub was quiet, most kept home by the weather and so they had their pick of tables, though they ended up veering towards those usually occupied by school staff simply by default. There was none of the usual covering noise but neither was there the usual wait for drinks, which Eddie wasn’t entirely displeased about. He placed Rachel’s in front of her, but other than a murmured thanks she was quiet as they drank, picking listlessly at the coaster in front of her.

Eddie eyed her worriedly, opening his mouth to say something at least half a dozen times but always thought better of it, and instead took a drink of his beer, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

“So what happens now?”

Eddie jumped when Rachel spoke without warning, her voice quiet and tired. He swallowed thickly, resolving to tread delicately. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But we can’t keep arguing. You have to let me in, Rachel.”

“Why do I?” Her head snapped up to look at him, jaw tightening. “Because you demand it?”

“Because I’m your friend!” Eddie threw the gauntlet down, dared her to dispute it. She visibly faltered, practically shrinking in on herself. “And despite what you think, Rachel, you can’t do everything alone.”

But she was shaking her head. “You barely know me.”

“Maybe. But I think I know you enough.”

Her gaze moved to meet his, her surprise visible for a second before her teeth began worrying her lip and she looked away again, cheeks pinking. He longed to reach out, clasp her hand in his as he’d done before but it was probably inappropriate, not to mention unwelcome so instead he tightened his grip on his glass, shifted again in his seat. “I meant what I said before,” he told her quietly. “I don’t see your past when I look at you.”

She swallowed thickly, risked a glance at him. She liked to think she could read people fairly well, was almost positive Eddie was being earnest. But that was that flicker of doubt in the back of her mind, that sliver of fear that she was too close to this to see his true colours and that this was all going to come crashing down around her. “You threatened to go to the LEA.”

Eddie blinked at the non-sequitur, then grimaced. “I know. I… hadn’t really thought it through,” he admitted, rock settled into his stomach. “What it would mean for you. I didn’t… I mean… I… I’m sorry, Rachel.”

Rachel couldn’t help the tiny smile that formed as he stumbled over his words, before sagging slightly in his seat. He was sweet, she thought, before blinking in surprise. Where had that come from? She reached for her wine, took a healthy gulp. “If it gets out, it’s not just me that suffers,” she said quietly, not looking at him. “The school, the kids… they’d all take a hit. I’m not entirely self-absorbed.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?” She raised an eyebrow, the starting buzz of the alcohol giving her the courage to challenge him more than she usually would have. Eddie shifted in his seat, frowning slightly.

“Of course I do. There’s a resignation letter in my bag that I haven’t managed to hand in yet, because of you.”

His point missed the mark entirely. Her lips parted in surprise, and she almost visibly reared back. “You’re going to resign?”

“No,” he said hastily. “I was thinking about it.”

She put her glass down, her voice rising in agitation. “You promised me a week! You weren’t even going to give me that?”

She made to stand up, but quick as a flash Eddie’s hand shot out, landed on her wrist to stop her moving anywhere. “Rachel, no! I’ve had the letter for days now, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to give it you.”

She was stiff and tense, but she was listening. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to leave,” he answered honestly, and saw her soften. “I want to sort this.”

Rachel pressed her lips together, looked away from him. “I have sorted it,” she said in a low voice. “Stuart won’t be a problem any longer. The only issue that remains is if you can bring yourself to work with me.”

Eddie disregarded her last comment, eyes narrowing. “How?”

“Excuse me?”

“How did you sort it?”

She shot him a cold look. “You don’t need to know. You asked me to make sure Hordley wasn’t going to be a problem in the future, he won’t be. End of discussion.”

Eddie’s stomach had fallen through the floor. Around them, the rest of the world seemed to have fallen away, leaving them in a bubble and Eddie forgot his intentions of not causing an argument, forgot about convincing Rachel that she could trust him. “What did you do?”

Her voice was practically a hiss, icy and annoyed. “Leave it, Eddie!”

“Did you sleep with him?”

The world froze. For a long moment, neither moved, neither spoke. Eddie felt the floor fall from beneath him, his heart drop so far down he was pretty sure it had followed the ground. Rachel didn’t cry, she didn’t even shout. Instead, her lips twisted into a bitter smile. “Because that’s all I am, isn’t it?”

“Rachel…”

“Goodnight, Eddie.” She rose from her seat, was walking away before he’d even processed what had happened. Once he had, he scrambled to his feet, cursing under his breath as he darted after her, out into the rain. It was the sort of downpour that soaked you through in seconds, so cold it took Eddie’s breath away.

“Rachel!”

He wasn’t even sure she could hear him over the weather. She hadn’t gotten far though, and he raced across the car park to grab her, catching hold of her arm and spinning her around. She scowled at him, opening her mouth to speak but he hastened to get there before she could. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Then how the hell did you mean it?”

They were having to shout over the wind and the rain, Rachel’s hair plastered to her face, water droplets running down her throat and disappearing into her neckline. Eddie didn’t dare let go of her arm, even if it did get him slapped soon. “Rach…”

“You can’t even admit it to yourself!” she screamed at him, and the back spray splashed around them. “You don’t see it! I cried in front of you, and suddenly I wasn’t your boss or the ex-prostitute, I was a damsel in distress you had to go all caveman on. But the second you allow yourself to forget that, I’m back to being the prostitute!”

“That’s not true!”

She shook her head, pulled her arm out of his grip. “Maybe you should hand that letter in, Eddie.”

He felt like he’d been punched. He couldn’t even manage to call after her, to stop her as she disappeared into the night, away from him.

**W.R.**

For perhaps the first time, Rachel was unbelievably relieved that the kids were misbehaving. She’d half been expecting an ambush by Eddie in her office that morning- instead, it was one by Mika and Brett, first with the lights and then with the trees. It meant that she could repeatedly send Eddie away from her, despite the looks he sent her way, managing each time to slip out of the confrontation he so desperately wanted. And he did want one. It was obvious in his expression, his body language, the way he hovered to try and get her alone. But so far, she’d avoided him, and she had every intention of continuing that.

Her mood wasn’t improved when she picked up the phone, only to find a very annoyed Stuart Hordley on the other end. Instant nausea rose up. As repulsive as the man was, she’d condemned him to… something, and she disliked the idea immensely. She disliked talking to him even more. “I’m afraid any compensation claims will need to go to the LEA,” she told him coolly, and was delighted when that was met with silence. “What? You don’t want them prying into your affairs?”

“Just get it sorted, alright?”

She wasn’t even surprised when the phone cut off. But the entire encounter told her one important thing- nothing had happened to him yet. She wasn’t sure what to think of that.

Eddie wasn’t oblivious to her attempts at keeping him away from her. Finally, however, with Mika out of her tree and everyone in more or less one piece, she had nothing to distract him with. Not that she would be pleased to see him, he thought grouchily, tapping his fingers on his desk. They seemed to have an unerring habit of annoying each other, and he wasn’t sure how to fix it this time.

Until he froze, fingers suddenly motionless. He had one, slightly risky idea, but it might just work.

Rachel was signing paperwork as quickly as she could, hoping in vain that she could clear everything urgent before Eddie got it into his head to come and see her. She’d been expecting him as soon as the bell had gone, wasn’t sure what to feel that he hadn’t made an appearance. But it seemed she’d spoken- so to speak- too soon and it was the sound of footsteps storming into her office that had her glancing up, entirely unsurprised to see Eddie. She was more startled, however, when he unceremoniously tossed an envelope onto her desk. “What’s this?”

He looked at her with a blank expression. “What you asked for.”

For a long moment, she was baffled, until crashing realisation set in. There was only one thing it could be. She felt like she’d been punched, staring at the envelope without touching it, as if doing so would make it real. “I see.”

She could feel Eddie’s eyes on her as the seconds passed. “Is that all I get?” he questioned incredulously, when he could no longer bear the silence. “I see?”

“What do you want me to say?”

He stared at her for another few seconds, before scoffing. “Nothing at all.”

All at once, she couldn’t take his eyes on her anymore. She shoved backwards from her desk, walked across to her window and assumed that he’d left when there was no sound behind her, until all of a sudden, he spoke. “Rachel?”

“Just go.”

“Damnit Rachel!” He strode forward, throwing caution to the wind to catch hold of her by the shoulders and forcibly spinning her around to face him. “Would you say something? Do something?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything!” He gave her a shake to emphasise his point. “Do you really want me to resign?”

Her eyes flashed. “Seems to me you just did!”

Eddie ground his teeth together. “Don’t get clever,” he said lowly. “You tell me, right now. Look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to leave.”

For one, awful moment, he thought she was going to say yes. The complete flurry of emotions in her expression, the way she was tense in his grip. But then... then she deflated slightly, expression stopping just short of crumbling. “No. Of course I don’t.”

Eddie couldn’t deny the flood of relief that hit him. He thought it was probably visible, judging by the way her lips twisted slightly as she looked at him. “I don’t think you’re just your past, Rachel,” he said softly for what seemed like the thousandth time and her chin lifted a little, eyes meeting his.

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re extraordinary.”

He could see the shock enter her gaze, mouth dropping open before her eyes slid away, her cheeks flushing pink. “Eddie, don’t...”

“Don’t what?” His mouth quirked. “Tell you the truth?”

She shook her head at him, cheeks uncomfortably hot. “You’re insane. I am the furthest thing from extraordinary.”

“I disagree,” he said simply. He knew what she was going to say next before she’d even opened her mouth and pre-empted her. “And I know what I said before. But the thing about me, Miss Mason, is that I have a bit of a temper, but once I’m over it I’m actually quite logical.”

She blinked. And then, to his joy, gave a quiet laugh. “Well, at least you’re honest about it.”

Hope sparked inside him. “I’m not going to pretend I like what’s happened with Hordley,” he said honestly, “but Rachel, that has nothing to do with what I think of _you_.”

Somewhere along the way, his hands had slid down to rest on her upper arms instead of her shoulders, and now Eddie almost jumped when one of her hands landed on his wrist, her head tilting slightly as she looked at him. “Promise?”

There was something in her voice that told him it was more than a flippant tease. She looked almost afraid of his answer, gaze fixed on his as he lightly squeezed his hands, voice as soft as hers had been. “I promise.”

Rachel swallowed thickly, trying to ignore that she was fighting to stop her hands from trembling. “I really don’t want you to leave,” she told him quietly, and he gave her that crooked grin of his that she was beginning to look forward to seeing.

“That’s good, because I didn’t really want to either.”

She let out a huff, feigning annoyance. “Calling my bluff?”

“I was out of other ideas.”

They both had faint smiles, eyes fixed on each other. And it was only then that Rachel realised what this would look like if anyone walked in right then, which was a distinct possibility since Eddie hadn’t bothered to close the door when he’d entered. She wet her lips, suddenly very unsure of herself. Eddie noticed, and quickly let his hands fall away from her, stepping backwards. She wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed, hiding her expression by ducking her head to tuck her hair behind her ear while Eddie shoved his hands in his pockets. “You do realise Hordley has to go?” he said quietly. “That’s the only way we can work together.”

She nodded, lips pressing together. “I know. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d sorted it.”

“How?”

The question slipped out before he could stop it and he froze, remembering what had happened the night before. Her expression contorted slightly. “Don’t ask me,” she almost begged, and Eddie had never hated an answer more.

He closed his eyes. “Swear this isn’t going to harm you in any way?”

She made a movement that was almost a shrug. “Only in me feeling guilty.”

He was studying her, and she felt like he could see every part of her for an uncomfortably long few beats, until eventually he nodded. “Then I won’t ask.”

She blew out a breath, feeling the sudden urge to sit down. Instead, she gave him a grateful look, and sent up a silent prayer that his promise would last.


	6. Chapter 6

There were times when Rachel seriously wondered what went on in the brains of teenagers. Why, for example, did usually sensible students lose their mind the second their hormones kicked in? Or, why did they get together and come up with convoluted ideas they somehow thought were perfectly sensible?

She glared at the group in front of her, all of whom shuffled their feet and avoided her gaze. “Well?” she questioned. “Who wants to start talking?”

Resounding silence.

She sighed, crossed her arms. “All of you, afterschool detention this week and cooler for the rest of today.”

That got their attention. “All week? But-”

“Do you really want to increase it?”

The girl who’d spoken shrank back. “No miss.”

“Then all of you, march.”

She had no doubt that the mutterings were less than complimentary towards her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at that exact moment. Movement in the doorway had her looking up- Eddie was leant against the doorframe, grinning at her. “The wanderers have returned, then?”

“The boiler room. Of all the uncomfortable, unhygienic places…” She shook her head slightly. “And during school hours!”

He chuckled, coming into the room properly. “What, you never bunked off a lesson I suppose?”

“Not for that!”

She sounded so indignant that he couldn’t help but laugh. The one good thing about that little group, he thought, was that they’d successfully distracted Rachel. She’d been horrendously tense all day, jumping at every noise and if he’d noticed it in the small time he’d spent with her, he dreaded to think how bad it was the rest of the time. He tilted his head at her, leant against the back of the chair. “You want to talk about it?”

“What?”

“Whatever’s got you so antsy.”

Rachel stilled, motionless for a long second until her eyes flicked up to meet his. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Eddie groaned. “Rachel. It’s me. I know something’s the matter.”

For a moment, she actually considered it. She could tell him that she was on tenterhooks, waiting to hear what had happened to Stuart. Or even worse, the knowledge that something was imminently going to happen, and she was the cause. She could tell Eddie what she’d done and why but at the end of the day… Rachel swallowed hard, and managed to give him a smile she was almost certain hadn’t reached her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Your words say one thing, their tone and your body language say something else.”

“Eddie.”

He could hear the growing irritation in her tone, and set his jaw. “Damnit, Rachel.”

“What?”

“You’re so infuriatingly stubborn!” he exploded. “You’re suffering but you won’t let anyone in!”

She bit her lip. “I feel like we’ve had this argument before.”

He didn’t look amused. “Which only goes to prove my point.”

“Sorry.” She bit her lip as she flicked her gaze up towards him, saw the hard lines of his expression disappear.

“Rach, talk to me,” he encouraged softly, “let me in.”

The words were coming out before she’d even decided to open her mouth. “I just… I’m worried. About this place, the kids, the building work, Stuart…” Her eyes widened. She hadn’t intended to say that, shut her mouth with a click before anything else could slip out. Eddie didn’t seem to notice.

“It’ll all be over soon,” he soothed. “This will seem like a bad dream.”

She choked out a laugh. “Eddie, it’s my reality.”

“You said Hordley was going to be dealt with, right? It won’t be long, and then this will all be over. He’ll be gone, someone else will take over the contract. No more blackmail, no more bouncing checks. And no more stress.”

Her smile was small and weak, but it was there. “I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I am.” He grinned crookedly at her, hoping to lighten her mood and to some extent it worked, judging by the faint amusement on her face. As she looked at him, it died quickly however and he felt a flicker of worry. But before he could question her, she began to speak.

“Eddie… thank you.”

His brow furrowed. “For what?”

She hesitated. How could she put everything she wanted to say into words. “Just… for being my friend.”

It was said somewhat timidly, but Eddie understood. She knew he had, from the look in his eyes and the way his whole demeanour lit up, even as he tried to play it cool. “You’re welcome.”

Her cheeks were hot, and she quickly busied herself with tidying her paperwork, tucking one pile into her inbox while the other was delivered to the filing cabinet.

“So,” he said casually, mischief sparking through him, “if you never bunked off to hook up with someone… what did you bunk of for?”

Over her shoulder, she shot him an incredulous look. “Really?”

He shrugged, grinning. “Enquiring minds want to know.”

She huffed. “Well, you’ll be disappointed- there was nothing sordid or exciting. A few times to run home and check on my mum, once to find Melissa when she’d run off without telling anyone.”

“You were a goody-two shoes in school, weren’t you?”

“And what were you?” she challenged, coming to lean on the desk in front of him. “Despite the maths, I can’t quite see you as a nerd.”

He shrugged sheepishly. “Football player.”

“Ouch. Sporty, even worse.”

“We weren’t that bad!”

She hummed. “Doesn’t matter which school you go to, there’s always that teacher that favours the sporty kids.” Eddie was about to argue, then faltered, remembering how much he’d gotten out of because of his place on the school team. Rachel saw it, and laughed. “Told you!”

“And you were a prefect, or head girl weren’t you?”

Her smile faded. “No. I wasn’t actually that good of a student. Academically successful, but in every other way… well, I had too much going on to care about a vocab test that didn’t count for anything or joining a club just to satisfy my head of year.”

Did she even realise she was being more open with him than she’d ever been before? Eddie longed to question her further, didn’t dare in case she shut off again. So instead, he stayed quiet, until Rachel blinked and came out of her reverie. “Still, better than a member of the football team,” she quipped, and he feigned outrage.

“I’ll have you know, Miss Mason, that I was quite good!”

“Really?”

“Scored a hattrick in my first away game. Even the year thirteens knew who I was.”

“Oh, quite the accolade.”

They were both grinning, the tension in the room lifted as they teased each other. Eddie struck a pose, put on an exaggerated expression. “I was just that great.”

Rachel broke into laughter. An open, light-hearted sound that had Eddie’s breath catching, arms falling back to his sides. He liked seeing her smile, liked seeing her when she wasn’t so closed off and now, her head thrown back and more carefree than he’d ever seen her, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

But she caught him. He’d been watching too long and now she was looking at him oddly. “What?”

He shook his head, pushing to his feet so that she was no longer taller than him, hands shoving into his pockets. “Nothing. Sorry.”

“Eddie, what?” she insisted, still laughing slightly as she darted out to catch hold of his wrist, stop him from leaving. He shrugged, looking awkward.

“I was just thinking…”

“About?”

She was certainly persistent, he thought with a sigh. “You,” he said bluntly, and saw her eyes widen. In for a penny, a voice in his head said- it sounded suspiciously like his father. “It suits you, being like this. More relaxed, less uptight.”

“I… don’t know what to say to that.”

He shrugged. “You wanted to know.”

She tilted her head at him. “I’ll go with thank you,” she said softly. Eddie wasn’t sure when they’d drifted so close to each other, but here they were, and it would have been so easy for him to reach out to touch her. Something she’d noticed as well, judging by the way her breath suddenly caught in her throat. Rachel’s eyes flitted between meeting his and down to his lips, but she didn’t back away and it was so simple for him to stretch out his hand, gently brushing her hair away from her face.

That was it. Until now, they could both pretend. Pretend this was professional, or nothing more than a friendship. Pretend that neither felt what they did, that the other didn’t feel the same but that movement, that single movement that leapt across the boundary between what they were and… more. That movement shattered all pretence.

Eddie held his breath, could only wait and hope that Rachel didn’t spook as they looked at each other. He searched her expression for any sign of doubt, the slightest hint that she didn’t want this.

He found the complete opposite.

He wasn’t sure who had moved- maybe both of them. But suddenly they weren’t looking any longer. The kiss wasn’t fierce, or hard, but soft and blissfully slow. Eddie’s hand slid around Rachel’s waist without conscious thought; she didn’t have her jacket on, and the heat from his touch was like a burn. She was painstakingly aware of it as she opened eyes she didn’t even remember closing.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Rachel wasn’t sure what he saw in hers but in his there was nothing but desire and awe, and she didn’t even allow herself to stop and think as she tipped her head up and captured his lips once again.

This time, there was no tentativeness. Neither questioning their actions, doubting themselves. There was just them, pressing even closer together as Rachel’s arms wrapped around Eddie’s neck, not minding a bit as his own hold on her tightened until they were as close as it was physically possible to be. She could smell the remnants his aftershave, felt the way his movements became more and more confident as the seconds passed.

It was only when oxygen became an issue that they finally parted, both breathless and wide eyed. Silence settled over the room, almost tangible between them. Rachel bit her lip, fingers touched to her mouth as Eddie swallowed hard. He wanted to say wow, but even if he’d managed to get his tongue working he wasn’t sure it would be appreciated. Rachel looked almost frightened, tense as she stepped backwards and Eddie let her go, hands falling to his sides.

“What was that?” Rachel’s voice was barely over a whisper.

“I don’t know. But I can’t say I’m unhappy about it.”

She took another step backwards, hand trembling slightly. “Eddie, be sensible.”

“What’s not sensible about it?”

He stayed deliberately calm, and Rachel stared at him incredulously. “None of it! This... you...”

“Rach.” He held out his hands, but she practically scrambled backwards and he froze. “Rachel,” he began again, voice low, “it’s okay.”

“No! No, it’s not!”

“What are you panicking about?” he questioned. “Because you’re my boss? There are no rules against it, and we’d be professional.”

She gaped at him. “Eddie...”

He was baffled. “What? I don’t understand what the problem is.”

Rachel’s jaw dropped. She was stunned to see the genuine confusion in his eyes- he wasn’t playing, wasn’t pretending. He had absolutely no idea what she meant. “You... really don’t, do you?”

“No!”

“Eddie… I was a prostitute, and-,”

“You think I care about that?” he interrupted, a little hurt and she shook her head at him.

“How can you not?”

He covered the space between them in two large strides, not giving her time to retreat before he took her hand in his. “Your past is just your past, Rachel.” His voice was quiet, gaze boring into hers. “It’s a part of you, and nothing more. Of course it doesn’t affect anything now.”

Her eyes were suspiciously wet, but when she spoke her voice didn’t waver. “You can’t mean that.”

“Why not?” His fingers brushed against her cheek, and she wanted them to stay there more than she’d ever wanted anything. “Rachel, you and I… there’s been something for a while. Before any of this- your past, my past, it’s all incidental. Of course it doesn’t matter to me.”

One beat passed, then two. Three, Four, Five. And then her face crumpled. “Eddie, we can’t. I’m your boss, if anyone found out…”

“We’ll be discreet.”

“We both know there’s not much that stays secret in this place.” She shook her head. “Please… please just… be my friend. You said that’s what we were. Can we just…”

“Okay.” He couldn’t bear the distress in her voice, the wetness in her eyes and agreed before it could grow, his hand engulfing hers. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

She nodded, expression still pained and dismayed but he let her hand drop. Every step away from her sounded thunderous even against the carpet, hands numb as he clasped the door handle and left the office. He got all the way into the corridor before allowing himself to sag, leant heavily against the railings as his insides lurched and twisted.

Back in Rachel’s office, she was collapsed onto the sofa in exactly the same way.


	7. Chapter 7

Stephanie Haydock prided herself on many things. Some weren’t appropriate to mention on front of her students, others she wouldn’t purely because the trouble they would then give her wasn’t worth it. And then there were a few others... she narrowed her eyes as she watched Rachel and Eddie across the staff room. They were talking about something they were putting up on the notice board, a perfectly mundane and boring conversation. All except for the small, hesitant looks Rachel kept giving Eddie, and the way he cast glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. Steph was just waiting for... there! As Rachel was taking one of the sheets of paper from Eddie, their fingers brushed and both of them jolted, quickly looking away from the other. Steph shot her hand out to clutch at Matt’s arm. “Look!”

He followed her gaze, and cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“Rachel and Eddie!”

He looked again. “What?” He questioned again, and her grip tightened.

“Look at them!”

“I’m looking! I’m just not sure what you’re seeing.”

Steph huffed. “Men,” she muttered in disgust. “They’re together, I guarantee it. Or well on their way, at any rate.”

Matt looked again. “I don’t see it.”

“I’m not wrong!” she insisted, and he held his hands up in defence.

“I’m not at arguing with you.”

“Who’s arguing?” Jasmine shot them a curious look as she sat down, cradling a mug of tea. Steph ignored that, but gestured excitedly.

“Look! At Rachel and Eddie.”

Obediently, Jasmine craned her neck but after a few seconds, looked just as confused as before. “What am I looking for exactly?”

“Steph thinks they’re together,” Matt supplied, and her head whipped around in shock. Steph looked annoyed.

“I don’t think, I know. Look at them?”

All three did, just in time to see Rachel departing from the room and Eddie going to make himself a coffee. Jasmine tilted her head. “They don’t look very together.”

Steph crossed her arms as she settled back in her seat, looking disgruntled. “I’m telling you, end of the year,” she said. “Nobody keeps a secret round here for very long. One way or another, they’ll have confirmed it by the end of the year.”

Across the room, Eddie felt a strange prickling sensation on the back of his neck and had the oddest sensation that he was being watched. But when he turned, no one was looking in his direction.

**W.R.**

Eddie was sure someone was having a laugh at his expense. It seemed as if every corner he turned around had an embracing couple around it, be it the kids or the set of married science teachers. And then he got a phone call from his sister at lunch time, inviting him to a dinner which based on the past three occurrences, would be a pregnancy announcement. By the time the call ended there was a text waiting- Alison, asking if he could take Michael on Saturday evening because she had a date.

Eddie ground his teeth together. It was a conspiracy, he was sure of it. And he was sick of it.

“Eddie, are you ready?”

He looked up, Rachel standing a little way away from him. She looked tense, shoulders stiff and her knuckles were almost white where they gripped the folders she was holding and his brow furrowed. “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not.”

It was said too quickly, too tersely and he raised an eyebrow. “Rachel, it’s written all over you. What’s wrong?”

She pinned him with a glare. “Nothing is wrong,” she said clearly. “Now are you ready?”

He sighed, nodding at her and obediently trailing into the hall, where the entirety of year nine were waiting. And he dropped into his seat near the front, watched as she strode onto the stage and in the process became a different person entirely. Her back straightened, her expression cleared at all of a sudden Miss Mason was standing up there, and if Eddie hadn’t known it had happened he would never have guessed.

“Okay year nine, you all know why you’re here. Next year is important and we want to talk about what that’s going to look like for you…”

Eddie sagged in his seat, and prepared himself to be very, very bored. He stared ahead, at dust mites that danced in the few afternoon sunbeams that spilled into the hall, absently watching their ballet and wondering how much trouble he would be in if he snuck out in about twenty minutes. Until without warning, his sight was obscured when Rachel stepped forward, shifting her weight as she spoke and pointed to the presentation behind her. For lack of anything else to focus on, Eddie’s gaze came to rest on her, noticing, oddly enough, the way her boots curved up her leg. He’d seen her in these before, he was pretty sure, though he probably couldn’t have named specifics if pressed. They clung to her calf, finishing low enough that he could see several inches of skin before his sight hit the modest material of her skirt. He liked this one, he thought. Black, made of some material that clung subtly to her, nothing with even a hint of impropriety but enough that he enjoyed trailing his gaze up her thighs, through to the curve of her hips.

Just as his gaze reached that part of her anatomy, she turned to point out something else, shifting her weight onto one leg and he almost swallowed his tongue. From his position to the side, this angle did nothing but highlight her curves, her skirt stretching ever so slightly and he couldn’t stop himself from eagerly flicking his eyes upwards, to where her top highlighted her waist, and up further, to-

Someone coughed. Eddie tore his gaze from Rachel, cheeks growing hot. No one had noticed, he realised in relief, scanning the kids and teachers alike. None of them had seen him ogling their headteacher as if she were a piece of meat instead of a person. Shame flushed through him- he’d always found her attractive, that he’d never quite been able to truthfully deny. It was especially true now that he’d seen more than Miss Mason, now that he had- at the very least- caught glimpses of the woman underneath.

That didn’t quite excuse his gawking, however. He squirmed in his chair, dreading to think what her reaction would be if she ever found out. Actually… his gaze snapped back to her, just in case and relief crashed through him when she appeared oblivious. She’d turned again, so now he could see her face, her expressions. She was smiling, answering a question and Eddie thought he was probably the only one who could see the strain behind him, noticed the way her eyes remained shadowed even as she laughed at a comment someone had shouted out. He wasn’t a fan of her like this, much preferred the light, open laughter he’d heard before, when it was just the two of them.

She gestured with her hand, the clear varnish on her nails catching the light and Eddie was sat close enough to notice the ink stain on her fingers, a sure sign she’d been doing paperwork all morning. That same hand rose, brushed her hair from her face and his fingers tingled as he recalled what it felt like to have those strands in his hand, running through like a waterfall. That single memory prompted a deluge of others- the warmth her skin, how soft her lips were, how they felt when they curved into a smile beneath his.

He swallowed hard. She’d asked him not to push it, but right now, with her standing there bathed in sunlight, he had no idea how he was going to manage that.

It was both an age and yet no time at all when Rachel wrapped up, dismissing the students and Eddie blinked in surprise, hastily standing and joining the crowds flocking out of the hall. He thought he’d made it, safe in the corridor, but then a voice sounded from behind him.

“What was with you in there?”

Eddie felt his mouth go dry as he turned to face Rachel, the reams of students flowing around them. “What?”

She tilted her head, lips settling into a frown. “Eddie, you were staring at me so hard I’m not sure you blinked.”

He froze. So she had noticed. “I don’t know what you mean,” he lied, deciding that denial was better than any other options.

Her eyes narrowed, and she said nothing else as she stalked away.

**W.R.**

Eddie had no right to feel jealous over Rachel. None at all. Not as her deputy, not as her friend and certainly not as anything else. That didn’t stop him, however, from wanting to punch the suited slimeball at the bar who was currently chatting her up.

He scowled, and took a large gulp of his beer. Around him, his co-workers chatted and clinked glasses and joked about the week they’d just had. Meanwhile he brooded, and struggled to keep his eyes off of Rachel. She’d only gone up to buy another round, had been leant against the bar when this slick asshole had sidled up and began to talk to her. She could have blown him off, made a polite excuse but instead she had fallen into conversation with him, a smile on her face and it made Eddie’s blood boil.

To hell with her, and to hell with this. He mumbled a goodbye that went mostly unnoticed before he stalked out, hands shoving into his pockets. Not long ago she’d been kissing him and now she was flirting with some stranger in a pub?

“Eddie!”

The universe hated him.

“What is it?”

Rachel came to an abrupt stop at his harsh tone, eyes widening. “I just… wanted to check you were okay. I saw you leaving so quickly…”

“Why?” he demanded.

“Why?”

“Yes, why.” He stalked closer to her, and only felt a little guilty when she took an instinctive step back before she caught herself, and squared her shoulders. “Why the hell do you care?”

“Of course I care!” It had slipped out before she could stop it. And it was the truth, she acknowledged. It had been so much easier when she could place Eddie neatly into the category of colleague and deputy. But there was little chance of that now, and it was as if growing closer had sparked something within her, something that she struggled to clamp down on, however much she knew she should.

“Could have fooled me,” Eddie scoffed, and she faltered, hurt rippling through her.

“Eddie!”

“Why don’t you go back to your new friend at that bar? And leave me alone.”

Her brow furrowed. “What?”

He caught her by the arms, tugged her closer and she almost lost her balance, stumbling and ending up pressed against him in a position that had her breath catching her throat. “Tell me something,” he said lowly. “When you think about someone kissing you, who is it you’re picturing?”

He was tipsy, she acknowledged, but not drunk. They were close enough that she could recognise the beer on his breath, feel the warmth of him even through the layers of fabric. She swallowed thickly. “That’s none of your business.”

He tilted his head. “This time a few days ago you were kissing me,” he murmured, and heat shot straight through her. “Do you wish it were him today?”

“Are you jealous?”

“Answer the question.”

She leant closer, their breaths mingling, her fingers wound around his jacket. “What answer do you want to hear? That I do? Or that I don’t?”

“Go to hell.” He pushed her away, lightly enough that she was in no danger of losing her balance as his eyes flashed and his stomach twisted.

“You don’t have any right to dictate anything about me!” Rachel snapped, refusing to let him walk away.

“You’ve made that abundantly clear!”

“Then w _hat_ is your problem?”

“YOU ARE.” He spun, clutched at his head for a moment before whirling back to face her. “You’re infuriating! Damn it, can you really pretend you feel nothing towards me?”

Her expression had fallen, voice barely a croak. “Don’t.”

“I can’t,” he said helplessly, and shrugged at her. “I can’t pretend. I wanted to throttle that guy at the bar. I couldn’t take my eyes off you in that assembly today, I think about you constantly. And if you didn’t feel the same I wouldn’t say a word, but I know you do. I know you feel it too. Rachel-,”

“You promised.” Her voice cracked. “Eddie, you promised.”

“I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” He was back in front of her in an instant, raising his fingers to her cheeks. “Rachel, you’re killing me,” he whispered. “And you’re only hurting yourself as well.”

“We can’t. You know we can’t.”

“There are no rules against it.” He knew he was pleading- he didn’t care. “There would be some murmurs and whispers, but we both have good records, we could weather them. Especially together. And we could be happy.”

Her breath hitched. “You can’t promise that.”

“Do you have any idea how much I cherish those moments where you forget to be guarded around me?” He smoothed a thumb over her cheek, caught her gaze in his. “I like Miss Mason just fine. I spend my entire time waiting for just a glimpse of Rachel.”

She gave him a choked laugh, hands wrapped around his wrists. “I’m not two people.”

“It seems like it sometimes.”

The faint amusement in her eyes vanished. They’d done it again, she realised. Come together and stood so close that anyone who saw them would think they were embracing. Close enough that she could see every detail of his eyes, could feel the rise and fall of his body as he breathed. And was perfectly aware of the way his gaze flicked down to her lips, catching there for a split second before he forced himself to look back up.

He wanted her, despite everything, and it was a heady feeling. So she couldn’t bring herself to regret it even a little bit when she moved even closer to press her lips to his, especially not when he responded instantly by pulled her as close as physically possible, his grip never once hurting her.


	8. Chapter 8

Eddie was lucky, Rachel thought as she looked up from her seat at the desk. If he’d burst into her office thirty seconds earlier, she would have been on a phone conference with the LEA, discussing budgets and educational policies. Riveting topics that she wouldn’t have minded a rescue from, but explaining why her deputy had come bursting into the office without warning might have required more of an explanation than she could have developed on the fly. She gave him a small, unsure smile in greeting but it quickly faded at the look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

A beat passed. Then two. “Would you like to go out for drinks later?” He hadn’t quite intended to blurt that out, but he’d have to run with it now.

Rachel blinked, a little taken aback. “Weren’t we doing that anyway?”

But Eddie shook his head. “No, I don’t mean to the pub with everyone else. I mean... somewhere else.”

Oh. She swallowed hard, mouth suddenly dry as a desert. They’d parted the night before when the door to the pub had burst open, wrenching apart and Eddie had hastily bid her goodbye, promising to see her the next day. Only Rachel hadn’t even made it to her office that morning before she’d stumbled across- quite literally- one of the year sevens in hysterical tears and the day hadn’t gotten any calmer. She’d caught only fleeting glances of Eddie, this was the first conversation they’d had. “Just us?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged, biting the inside of his mouth as he looked at her. “How about it?”

She swallowed again, heart so loud she wondered how he hadn’t heard it, and did something ridiculously impulsive. “Okay.”

A smile spread across his face. “I’ll pick you up at 7?”

She nodded her agreement, stomach summersaulting but couldn’t find it on herself to regret it when she saw the broad grin on his face, and simply hoped none of the kids saw them out.

It was a hope that repeated throughout the rest of the day, and the evening. Her stomach was doing flips, and she only managed to force down some nuts and fruit, picking at them as she redid her makeup, wavered between outfits. Would Eddie prefer her in something similar to what he’d seen before? Or something completely different? And then she paused, and wondered why she was trying to dress according to his opinions.

Her phone was in her hand before she’d even registered it, and as soon as the line was picked up she was talking. “It’s me. What do you wear to go to a bar?”

There was a beat of silence. “I think I’d better get mum.”

Rachel felt her cheeks heat at the sound of her nephew’s voice. “Sorry Philip.” She waited patiently, heard the thump of footsteps, muffled voices until her sister’s voice came over the line, and she repeated the question.

“You’re going to a bar?” Melissa sounded thoroughly confused.

“Is it really so surprising?”

“Yes,” Melissa told her openly. “Is it a work do?”

“No.” Rachel collapsed onto her bed and ran a hand through her hair. “It’s a date. At least, I think it is.”

“How do you not know? Either it is or it isn’t.”

Rachel ground her teeth together, reminded herself that she needed Melissa’s help and snapping at her would do no good. “It’s me and a guy, in a bar, by ourselves. Draw your own conclusions.”

Her sister’s voice was irritatingly cheerful. “Sounds like a date to me!”

“Wonderful. Can you please help me now?” She knew she sounded impatient. “I only have- crap, half an hour till he picks me up.”

“What do you want to wear?”

“If I knew that I wouldn’t be calling you!”

Melissa’s eye roll could be heard through the phone. “Jesus, just do jeans and a nice top. It can’t be that fancy of a place, not in Rochdale.”

That was probably offensive, Rachel thought, but couldn’t bring herself to scold her at that moment. “Which top?”

She frowned when there was a long few seconds of silence. If it hadn’t been for Melissa’s breathing, she’d have wondered if the line had cut off. She heard Melissa shift, and when she spoke, there was an odd note in her tone. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”

“Melissa...”

“Wear the red one I bought you last Christmas. And put some heels on, men love heels.”

Rachel took a deliberately careful breath. “Thank you.”

Unknown to her, at that moment, across town, Eddie was on the phone as well. “I don’t do dress up!” He ran a hand over his head, staring at the contents of his wardrobe. “Why didn’t I ask her to the pub or something?”

From across the country, his brother chuckled. “For God’s sake Eddie, it’s not the Ritz. Will she really care what you’re wearing?”

That brought Eddie up short. For all Rachel sometimes made jokes about his casual dress sense, the only time she’d ever actually complained was during that presentation they’d made. The other times, it had been almost affectionate jibes at his lack of formality. “No,” he admitted with a sigh, and grabbed a simple white shirt.

He was almost late to pick Rachel up- almost. He was rather proud that he was almost on the dot, actually, Rachel’s front door opening a minute after he’d knocked. She smiled at him nervously, stepping back to let him in. “I just need to two seconds.”

He watched as she slipped a pair of heels on, appreciatively trailing his eyes up her legs as she balanced on one, then the other before straightening. At which point, he realised what he was doing and hastily looked away, cheeks heating. Rachel didn’t notice, grabbing her bag and shooting him another hesitant look as Eddie shifted his weight, shoved his hands into his pockets. “Ready?”

She nodded. “I think so.”

Her eyes met his briefly, skidded away. And Eddie sighed. “This is silly.” He stepped forward, gently lowered his mouth to brush against the corner of hers and had to hide a smirk when he heard her breath hitch. “You look lovely,” he murmured. Her cheeks were pink, but her smile was more genuine now.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

He chuckled, and in a moment of daring reached out to interlace their fingers. “It’s just us,” he said quietly. “Dancing around each other is silly.”

Her expression softened, lips twisting. “Yes, it is.”

And that set the tone for the evening. They spoke quietly on the journey to the bar, about school and policies which somehow ceded into Tom and Davina and if one of the PE teachers was pregnant. By the time they’d sequestered themselves into a corner and ordered a drink apiece, the conversation had turned to children- Michael, specifically, though Eddie dropped a story about Stephen in there as well. Drinks flowed, and the conversation never faltered.

It was much later, when the bar had become much louder that Rachel realised they had pressed together, leaning close in order to hear each other. And the second she did, she became acutely aware of every inch that was in contact with him- hips to knees pressed together, arms brushing and when they did the only barrier between their skin was the thin material of his shirt. Eddie ducked his head to murmur in her ear, and there was something so oddly intimate about it that she struggled to hold back a shiver.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

She glanced at him, trying to decide on his meaning. Then realised she didn’t actually care, and nodded.

The cold air hit them in a welcome blast when they stepped outside, and with it an instant reduction in noise. A look of sheer relief appeared on Eddie’s face as his ears almost rang at the quiet, only now realising just how loud it had been inside. “I’m too old for this.”

“You’re hardly old.” Rachel fell into step with him, wondering if he had a destination in mind.

“Too old for bars.”

She laughed, enjoying the breeze that fluttered across her skin. “I enjoyed it. It’s nice in there.”

“It is,” he agreed, but privately thought that his enjoyment had been more to do with the company than the location. “Have you eaten yet?”

Now, she looked sheepish. “I had some fruit?”

Exasperation saturated Eddie’s tone. “Fruit is not dinner. Come on.”

Which was how, without her really knowing how, Rachel found herself perched on a bench, sharing fish and chips out the bag. “I’ve had fun tonight,” she said softly, nibbling on a chip, and Eddie gave her a warm look.

“So have I.”

“And I do appreciate it, you know.”

He looked at her oddly. “What?”

“I know a bar like that isn’t really your thing.” She smiled, shrugging a shoulder. “So thank you.”

Was he that obvious? “I enjoyed it too, Rach,” he said gently. “I didn’t mind.”

“I’m still grateful.”

She nabbed another chip, dunking it in ketchup while he swallowed his mouthful of fish. “Maybe next time, I can take you for dinner properly, instead of on a park bench eating out the paper.”

Eddie only realised what he’d said when Rachel’s gaze snapped towards him, half surprised, half embarrassed. His stomach lurched, and he opened his mouth to apologise for presuming, for jumping ahead too quickly but before he could get a single word out, Rachel relaxed slightly. “As long as it’s not to that place with the awful pizza you’re so fond of,” she said casually.

Eddie had to forcibly suppress the beaming grin that desperately wanted to break free. “That pizza is amazing.”

“It’s nothing but grease.”

“That’s why it’s amazing.”

She laughed, and Eddie decided right there that he wanted to hear that sound every day for as long as physically possible. “That’s disgusting,” Rachel told him, and he shrugged.

“So are those awful herbal things you drink, but you don’t hear me complaining every time I make you one.”

“Tea, Eddie.” She was still grinning, eyes dancing at him. “It’s tea. And it’s healthy.”

He pulled a face, sticking his tongue out and she giggled at him, throwing a chip in his direction. To her surprise, however, it hit him square between the eyes. He went cross-eyed, as Rachel gasped before bursting into laughter. Eddie just looked rueful. “What is it with you and throwing things at me lately?”

Her mouth twitched. “Sorry.”

“No you’re not,” he grumbled jokingly, his tone mild and light. They polished off the rest of the food, and now the night air was cooler than was pleasant- Rachel wrapped her arms around herself, fighting off a yawn.

“I should get home, before I fall asleep on my feet.”

“I’ll walk you.”

She blinked in surprise. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Maybe I want to.” He held his arm out, tipping an imaginary hat. “Milady.”

She rolled her eyes even as she laughed, taking his arm and inwardly thinking how much she loved seeing this side of him, one he understandably kept hidden at school. The walk home was no less pleasant than the rest of the evening. Sometimes they would be in companionable silence, sometimes conversation would spark up again. Eddie fancied that he could feel the heat of her touch burning even through multiple layers of clothing, couldn’t stop the warmth inside him at the knowledge she hadn’t pulled away at any point. Not until they’d reached her front door, and suddenly the night seemed a lot colder as she drew away from him, searching through her bag for her keys.

“If I asked you out for dinner tomorrow, would that be too forward?” Eddie had blurted it out before he’d even finished forming the thought. Rachel looked up in shock, and he had to resist the urge to shuffle his feet like a schoolboy, however much he might have felt like one at that moment. And then added sheepishly, “Unless you already have plans…”

“No,” she murmured, and his heart stopped. “I don’t have plans. Dinner… dinner would be nice.”

She couldn’t bring herself to regret it when she saw the look on his face. “How about I pick you up this time?” she suggested and he agreed immediately, too happy she’d consented to see him again to think about arguing. “Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night, Rachel.”

He was watching her with a look in his eyes that she couldn’t have named for anything. But it was soft, and tender, and completely non-expectant, and it was for that reason that she stepped forward and stretched up to oh-so-gently brush her lips against his, in a kiss that was almost too sweet and far too short for either of their likings. But perhaps that was for the best, she thought, stepping back and smiling shyly at him. “Goodnight, Eddie.”

It was only once she stepped inside and softly shut the door, that Eddie allowed the widest grin to stretch across his face.


	9. Chapter 9

Rachel was avoiding Eddie. Again. He was positive of that, having spent almost all of his spare time on Monday trying to find just a minute with her, but completely failing. In the morning, she was conspicuously absent from her office, and by the time he‘d bumped into her in the staff room, the bell was ringing and he didn’t even manage to speak to her as she avoided his eyes and hurried away.

He set his year tens an exam during first period, and brooded at his desk. He couldn’t understand it- dinner on Saturday had gone well. Much like Friday, the conversation had flowed well into the evening, and when they’d parted ways outside the restaurant Rachel had been relaxed, brushing a kiss against his cheek before she climbed into her taxi.

Which was why Eddie was so confused now. At break time he was busy with a year eight who had missed the lesson on Pythagoras’ Theorem the week before, and at lunch Rachel was firmly nestled in between Matt and Jasmine, talking about ideas to get the kids more involved in extracurricular activities. She probably thought she’d successfully avoided him all day, but Eddie had one advantage he didn’t think she knew about. And that was a free period after lunchtime.

“I think that’s my chair.”

Rachel was paused at the doorway of her office, head tilted as she regarded Eddie sat behind her desk, looking entirely too smug. “Is it?” he asked innocently, and spun to face her as she walked towards him.

“What are you doing?”

“Well, I figured that sooner or later, you’d have to come here.” His head tilted back to look at her. “So it seemed a good place to wait for you.”

She frowned. “Why are you waiting for me?”

“Why are you avoiding me?” he countered. He saw the flinch she wasn’t quite fast enough to hide.

“I’m not...”

“Rachel.” His tone was flat, the vague joking tone vanishing. “Don’t treat me like an idiot.”

She was looking away as he rose to his feet, teeth worrying her lip. “I don’t think you’re an idiot.”

“Then talk to me.” He risked reaching out, brushing her hair back from her face. “Have you just freaked yourself out? Changed your mind? Had a better offer?”

The last was offered lightly, and she huffed out a laugh. “No, of course not.”

“Then what?”

“I just...” she hesitated, searching for the words.

“Rachel. I don’t understand, I thought things were good on Saturday?”

She deflated slightly. “They were.”

He was even more confused. “Then I really don’t understand.”

She looked away, biting her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“Have you changed your mind?” he asked gently. “Because you know you only have to tell me. I won’t be angry.”

“Eddie, no...” She grabbed his hand, feeling more awful by the second. “I... I just... it has nothing to do with you.”

“That’s obviously not true.”

Rachel felt sick. “No, I swear. It’s not you, Eddie, it’s me. Of course it is.”

“Then explain it!” he demanded, losing his temper. “I don’t think that’s too much to ask for! Rachel, you’ve been acting strangely for a while now and just when I think things are getting better, they get even worse than before!”

But how could she explain it? How could she tell him that she’d woken up on Sunday and caught sight of herself in the mirror, and felt sick at what she saw? It had been so simple before- there had been Amanda, and then there had been Rachel. The prostitute and the teacher. Amanda had had long hair and worn tight clothes with short skirts, drank cheap alcohol while avoiding her abusive father’s wrath. Rachel dressed modestly, with neat hair that never reached past her upper back, who drank wine and didn’t have a family. Two entirely separate people who wore the same face. Until that morning, when she’d looked in the mirror and all of a sudden couldn’t separate them, could no longer be sure where Amanda ended and Rachel began. The two distinct parts of her life were now merging, and she only had herself to blame.

She should never have bowed to Stuart Hordley, and never made that phone call. And she certainly should never have allowed Eddie to become as involved as he was.

But that was the issue, wasn’t it? Because he was involved now, standing so close to her that she could feel the heat from his body and she was in too deep, selfishly wanting to continue this even as every instinct screamed at her that this was a bad idea.

But she’d never been good at selfish, and so she stepped back, away from Eddie, feeling the lump in her throat grow as she shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

She watched it happen. The faint disbelief on his face, followed by pain, that quickly shut down into resignation and anger before he carefully blanked his expression. She could see how stiffly he held himself, knew he was practically vibrating with fury that he wouldn’t allow himself to unleash, instead giving her a jerky nod. “Okay.”

Her eyes burnt and she dug her nails viciously into her palm as he walked out without another word.

The rest of the afternoon was torturous, and she struggled to read the paperwork in front of her through the occasional blurry vision that cropped up. She forced herself to focus on her work, however, ignoring the final bell and the cacophony that came with several hundred departing students, the faint sounds of the teachers’ cars starting up and leaving as well. And it was only when the school had been silent for a while, and her back was aching from the seated position she’d been in for too long that she allowed herself to move, to slowly pack her things up and make her way outside.

It seemed like the universe’s cruellest joke that she rounded the corner of the corridor and almost slammed into Eddie, who had just reached the bottom of the stairs. For a moment, they both froze, staring at each other.

It was he who spoke first, swallowing hard. “Thought you would have gone already.”

Rachel just shrugged, not trusting her voice and dug her nails into her palms again. A dozen emotions flew across Eddie’s face but he said nothing, and Rachel began to walk away, heading to the car park and silently hoping that he wouldn’t follow her. But no such luck. He fell into step beside her, always in silence, casting covert looks at her out of the corner of his eye.

Just before they would have split to go different ways, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Rachel. You do know that you can talk to me? Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

The answer was so automatic and rote that he actually rolled his eyes. She was avoiding his gaze, knuckles white as she clutched at the strap of her bag and Eddie clenched his jaw, wished he didn’t care so much. “Sure.”

His anger was palpable. However much it had dimmed from earlier, it now roared back, his hands shoved into his pockets, eyes stormy as he spun away from her, intending to leave and Rachel bit her lip, stomach clenching. This felt worse than she’d dreamt, and she didn’t even realise what she was doing before she reached out to touch his wrist drawing him both to a stop. She didn’t even care that someone else could have been around to see, however remote the possibility. “Eddie, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He pulled away from her, voice icy cold. “I don’t know why I hope for anything else.”

“Eddie-,”

“Leave it, yeah? You so obviously want to.”

She shook her head. “It has nothing to do with-”

She cut off without warning. Eddie was certain that she’d stopped breathing altogether, turning sheet white before his eyes. Her gaze was fixed somewhere over his shoulder, and he spun around just in time to see a man standing beyond the gates turn, climb into a car and drive off before Eddie could do more than register what he was seeing. His brow furrowed as he glanced at the woman next to him. “Rachel?”

She was deathly pale, practically hyperventilating as she stared at the same spot and ice pooled in his stomach. He caught hold of her upper arms, applying just enough pressure to catch her attention. “Rachel!”

Her gaze snapped to his. They were wide, panic barely veiled. “I...”

“Who was that?”

She shook her head, hands gripping her bag tightly but Eddie was sure that if they hadn’t been, they would have been shaking. “Rachel, talk to me!”

She shook her head even more frantically, but one of her hands had come up to wrap around his wrist where he was holding her and her touch was cold and clammy, her face so pale Eddie was genuinely concerned she was either going to pass out or throw up. Or possibly both. “Come on.” He guided her in the direction of his car, concern only deepening when she didn’t argue, but simply stumbled along in his grip. He got her into the passenger seat, rounded the car and by the time he’d climbed in himself, she was looking at him, fingers clenched so tightly her knuckles were white.

“I’m sorry.”

He reached out for her hand, hoping to loosen her grip before she hurt herself. It took a moment, but eventually she relaxed, turning her hand over to entwine their fingers. “Yours, mine or pub.”

“Eddie…”

“Those are your only options right now.”

She ducked her head, but he was learning and he waited patiently in silence, waited for her to realise that being alone would be far worse than being with him. He could almost see the moment she did, the way her shoulders sagged ever-so-slightly and he heard the way she blew out a small breath before speaking. “Mine.”

He nodded without a word, started the car to begin the drive to her house, wondering all the while why he was even bothering.

**W.R.**

It wasn’t long later that they were sequestered on Rachel’s sofa, both with drinks in hand. She’d barely said a word on the journey, had dropped her bags in the hallway and moved straight to the kitchen for wine as soon as they’d stepped into the house. Eddie remained quiet as well, waiting her out, hoping she would start talking soon but unwilling to be the one who began. Rachel’s fingers tapped against her thigh, teeth worrying her lip and Eddie was beginning to lose the battle to stay silent, worry dancing within him, when in the second before he was about questioning her, she spoke. “You wanted to know what I did about Stuart.”

That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. He blinked in surprise, shifted in his seat to put his glass down. “I also said I wouldn’t ask anymore.”

Her demeanour didn’t change. “I need to tell you.”

Where had this come from? Eddie’s brow furrowed, fingers twitching as he resisted the urge to reach out to her, soothe her in whatever way he could. “Rach, you don’t have to.”

“No, you don’t understand.” She was visibly agitated, putting her own glass to the side and almost wringing her hands together. “You need to know. Because it will change how you see me, it will change... this.”

His response was instant. “Not possible.”

She didn’t believe it, not for a second. But that was a whole separate argument that she wasn’t willing to get into at that moment. Like ripping a plaster off, she thought, and took a deep breath. “The guy from earlier? I knew him, back before I… went into teaching. He was... we called him Fixer.”

Eddie frowned. “Fixer?”

“Inventive, I know. But that’s what he was- he fixed things. You have to understand, us girls, we just went where we were told, when we were told.” Rachel had closed her eyes, unable to bear looking at him. “If someone hadn’t paid up, he persuaded them to. If one of the girls wasn’t falling in line, he made sure she did. Sometimes other... groups would begin to encroach on the area and he would remind them to keep their distance.”

Eddie was pale, and barely managed to keep himself from gaping at her. It was like something out of a film, he thought, keeping silent as he looked at her. Rachel thought that might have been worse. “He was allowed to use the girls as a sort of bonus,” she continued and Eddie felt sick. “Only... he got too close to one. They fell in love, she got pregnant but a pregnant prostitute is no good for business. They tried to hide it but one of the other girls dobbed them in. I found out and helped her get out before...” She grimaced, and Eddie had to swallow hard. “I gave her some of the money I’d saved up and lied for her, it was enough for them to get away. When _he_ found out, he decided he owed me. He gave me a number, and if I was ever in trouble or needed help, all I had to do was dial.”

“And you used it for Hordley,” Eddie realised, voice quiet and she nodded miserably.

“I always swore I’d never call. Never invite any part of that life back in but then...” Finally, she looked at him, terrified of what she’d see on his expression. But it was carefully empty, eyes expressionless as he looked at her. “I didn’t have any other ideas.” Her voice cracked, and she clenched her fingers hard around the material of her cardigan. “I couldn’t let you go to the LEA, but there was no way I could get the contract taken from Stuart. So... I made the call.”

Eddie’s voice was almost too calm, quiet and it made Rachel’s insides twist as he pinned her with a stare. “What has he done to him, Rach?”

“I don’t know.” She closed her eyes against the tears, fully aware her voice was hitching and strained. “I swear, I don’t know. I didn’t want to know.”

She almost jumped into the air when she felt hands slide around hers, eyes flying open again. She hadn’t heard Eddie move, hadn’t felt him lower himself next to her. He reached out with one hand, gently wiped away the tears on her cheek. “Don’t cry. It’ll be alright.”

She gave a choked laugh. “You and tears.”

He didn’t smile. “More like you and tears. I don’t like to see you upset, Rach.”

That didn’t help her stop. “You should hate me.”

“Never going to happen.”

“Even if I’ve condemned a man to-,” she cut off, choking on her own words and instantly felt Eddie’s grip tighten slightly.

“He deserves it.”

She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t. Nobody does.”

“Rachel.” He waited until she’d looked at him, careful to keep his voice gentle. “He threatened you. He threatened our students. He deliberately made you afraid, he blackmailed you, he could have ruined your entire career and reputation and all because he wanted a building bid. If he loses his business, then it’s nobody’s fault but his own.”

She ached with how naive he was. “It won’t just be his business, Eddie. I’m more concerned with him losing his life!”

He felt the blood drain from his face, couldn’t find his tongue for a minute. “He killed him?”

“I don’t know!” Her voice had risen hysterically. “I told you, I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to know! As if that would absolve me of responsibility in some way! Maybe he killed him, maybe he tortured him, forced him into a car accident, burnt down his house, threatened his family, he’s done all those things before! I don’t know what he did but whatever it was it’s because of me!”

She buried her face in her hands, and for the first time Eddie realised just how much this had been affecting her. And suddenly, the past few of days made a lot more sense. He reached out, pulling her into his arms before she had a chance to argue and she only resisted for a moment, a token resistance, before she crumpled into him and her tears soaked into his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” Even he wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth. He ran a hand up and down her spine, murmuring nonsense to her. She didn’t answer, merely shook against him and he was sure her eyes would be squeezed tightly shut as she struggled to stop her tears.

Eddie wasn’t sure how long had passed, but eventually Rachel had stilled, though he hadn’t made any move to let her go. So when she spoke, he almost jumped, her voice loud in its suddenness. “Why are you still here?”

He pressed a kiss to her hair. “Because I’m still not convinced he didn’t deserve it,” he admitted in a murmur. “And even if he didn’t, I would never blame you for it.”

She pulled back to look at his face in shock, eyes red rimmed and exhausted. “There’s hardly anyone else to blame.”

“Hordley is at fault here,” Eddie told her firmly. “He played with fire, and he got burnt. Simple as.”

Rachel stared at him for a long moment. Before without warning, she surged forward and kissed him. This kiss was different- it was fierce and hard and tinged with desperation. It made Eddie’s head spin, and it seemed like no time at all before Rachel’s hands were pushing at his shoulders, leaning him back as she rose up to straddle him, her lips never leaving his. Eddie wasn’t complaining, one hand landing on her hip while the other threaded through her hair. 

It was only when her fingers began to scrabble at the buttons on his top that reality broke through. “Rachel...”

She hummed, and he had never been so tempted to shut up in his life. “Rach, we can’t...”

“Weren’t you the one pushing for this?”

He turned his head to stop her kissing him again, and the movement forced her to pause. There was desire on her face, yes, but something else as well, another emotion mixed in that Eddie couldn’t identify but knew shouldn’t be there. He reached up, thumb running over her cheek. “Not like this.”

Her expression darkened. “I knew it.”

She made to push off of him, got only part of the way before he caught hold of her, stopped her going any further. “You think I don’t want this?” he demanded. “Damn it, Rachel, I’ve wanted this for weeks. But not now, not when it’s about Hordley and this fixer and guilt instead of about you and me!” She stilled in his grip, studying his expression as if she could see straight into his mind. But she wasn’t entirely convinced, he saw, trailing his fingertips over her jaw and he shifted slightly, pressing them together. “You must be able to tell how much I don’t want to stop you right now.”

He saw her cheeks turn pink, and in the back of his mind, absently noted how adorable it was that the insinuation still made her blush like a schoolgirl. But she didn’t sound like a schoolgirl when she narrowed her eyes at him. “The vast majority of men wouldn’t make me, then.”

He shrugged. “Then I guess I’m not most men.” He kissed her gently, felt her relax in his grip.

“You’re right about that,” she murmured once they’d parted, looking at him with an expression that was vaguely baffled, slightly suspicious and somewhat impressed. And when she slid to the side, settling herself next to him, Eddie felt only the briefest pangs of regret before he pulled her into his side and knew he’d made the right decision.


	10. Chapter 10

Of all the situations Eddie had envisioned for tonight, laying with Rachel in his arms as they both absently watched whatever programme was on TV wasn’t one of them. Especially not after earlier that day, but he had a feeling he was going to have to get used to the unexpected around Rachel.

“I’m sorry about today.” Rachel spoke suddenly, voice soft as she tilted her head to look up at him from where she was tucked against his side. “I was awful to you.”

“Not _awful_ …” Eddie tapped his finger against his chin, and she let out a small laugh, resting her head back against his shoulder.

“I’m still sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m just glad you told me.”

Rachel swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly. “I don’t even know his name.”

He didn’t have to ask who she was talking about. “Rachel, you’re going to drive yourself insane.” She didn’t reply, and somehow that was worse. He tightened his grip, erasing any space left between them. “It’s going to be alright.”

“How can you say that?”

He smiled faintly. “That’s seems to be how this works. You’re the worrier and I’m the optimist.”

She lifted her head again, looked at him. “Does anything ever faze you?”

He chuckled. “Of course I am. I just don’t overthink everything.” But instead of laughing, she was silent. Eddie frowned, glanced down at her worriedly. “Rach?”

“I don’t do this, Eddie.”

“What?”

“This.” She sat up, away from him, and gestured between them. “Not ever. The last guy I dated was just that- dates. I never even went to his house. And now you and I...”

“Rachel.” He shifted his weight, sitting up straight and reaching for her hand. “It’s okay. We’ll take it as slow as you need to.”

“Don’t you see, that’s just it!” She wrung her hands together, looking upset. “I don’t care with you! I’ve always taken things at a snail’s pace before but now... now this isn’t bothering me at all and I don’t understand why!”

Eddie blinked. “You’re bothered about that fact you aren’t bothered?” he checked, fighting to keep the amusement from his voice and she looked disgruntled, almost pouting.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he promised, and was almost certain he’d prevented his lips from twitching. She huffed, dropping back to lean against the sofa.

“I know it doesn’t make much sense.”

He risked reaching out, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and had to tamper down the surge of triumph that rushed through him when she willingly leant into him. “It does make sense,” he assured her. “I just also think you’re overthinking it. If you’re happy, and comfortable, then what does it matter?”

“I suppose so.”

“Rachel.” He looked at her with narrowed eyes. “If you’re not, tell me now.”

“No, I am, of course I am.” Her fingertips grazed his jaw, her lip caught between her teeth. “I just... you know, part of me wishes I’d never come to Waterloo Road. And the other part of me is so glad I did.”

“Well for the record- I’m glad you did too.”

“Even if this all goes sideways and I throw the entire reputation of the school into disrepute?”

He shrugged, mouth crooking into a grin. “I’m not sure there was much of a reputation to begin with.” Silently, he thought that she’d probably ensured that wasn’t going to happen, but he wasn’t about to say that aloud.

Rachel went to say something else, but was cut off by the ringing of Eddie’s phone. They both jumped at the sound. They’d been on their own little world, her living room turning into a bubble where only the two of them existed but now the ringer was a harsh reminder of life outside, and it was like being plunged into ice water. Eddie scrambled for his mobile, grimacing. “Sorry.”

Rachel waved him off but had already pulled away, reaching for her wine and he could practically see her closing herself off again, shoulders tightening. He scowled, then blanched as he glanced down at the caller ID. “I have to take this.” He shot her an apologetic glance, hastily retreating from the room before he lifted the phone to his ear and Rachel frowned. That was out of character, and just plain odd. She could hear the murmur of his voice and didn’t even realise she’d stood and drifted into the hallway until she was already staring at his back through the sliver of a gap. He’d tried to close the kitchen door behind him but the catch was sticky and had a trick to it that he didn’t know about- it had fallen open and now she could hear every word he was saying.

“Really? Nothing at all? Not even his business?”

Now that was a strange comment. She moved closer, waiting as Eddie listened to something.

“No, but I thought there’d be something. Even just in the rumour mill,” Eddie was saying. “He’s certainly not squeaky clean... no that’s true. Oh really?”

She shouldn’t be listening to this, Rachel knew, but it was as if her feet had become glued to the floor, incapable of moving away. There was just something, something that told her to keep listening and she couldn’t ignore it even as guilt curled in her chest. Eddie hummed down the phone. “No, I don’t think that’s an option. The situation is complicated... I appreciate that, but it’s just not possible. Besides, he’d never admit to blackmail and then it would be his word against hers.”

A sinking feeling hit her. There was only one thing she could think that Eddie was talking about, but surely he wouldn’t have told someone else?

“I’ll try, but I wouldn’t be hopeful. Thanks Andy. Yeah, absolutely. Sounds good. Take care.”

She could have moved. Could have darted back to the sofa, pretended. But lead weights were attached to her feet and she stood still as Eddie hung up, turned around and visibly started at the sight of her stood just beyond the doorway. They stared at each other through the sliver of a gap, Rachel silent and fearful and Eddie like a rabbit in the headlights, wide eyed and guilty. “Rachel...”

“What was that?”

He’d started forwards, yanked open the door and could see her jumping to conclusions, the wrong conclusions and fear clogged his throat. “It’s not what you think...”

“You told someone.”

“No-,”

“Don’t lie to me!” Her tone was unbearably harsh, and she stepped backwards, hand raising to cover her mouth before she turned, intending to flee. “You need to leave.”

“No…” He surged forward, caught her by the upper arms. “Not like this. I didn’t tell anyone, I swear. I wouldn’t!”

“That’s not what it sounded like!”

“I swear,” he repeated, a little desperately. “On anything you like. I didn’t tell him about you, only about Hordley.”

She had stilled in his grasp, still doubtful but more willing to listen. “How does that even work?”

“Andy’s in the police- we were at school together, I trust him.” Eddie spoke quickly, terrified she’d stop listening. “I told him Hordley was threatening a friend of mine, he offered to look into him on the sly. That’s it. I never told him what he was using as blackmail, I never even told him I work with you. I wouldn’t do that, Rachel.”

For a moment, the only sound was their breathing. When Rachel finally spoke, her voice was unsteady, throat clogging. “You made me feel _awful_ for not being entirely honest. And then you turn around and do exactly the same.”

His heart sank. “Rachel, no...”

“Yes!” she snapped, and yanked out of his hold. “You’ve spent weeks condemning me, how the hell is it any different?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but faltered. “It isn’t.”

That brought her up short. Eddie felt his stomach clench, and this time he was the one who stepped backwards. “It isn’t,” he repeated quietly. “I’m sorry, Rach.”

She closed her eyes. “Tell me exactly what you told him.”

So Eddie did. Their exact conversation, the best he could remember it, followed by the side of the phone conversation she hadn’t been able to hear. “I’m sorry,” he said again once he’d finished. “You’re right, I should have told you.”

“You shouldn’t have done it in the first place!”

“Not without asking,” he agreed. “But in my defence, it didn’t come from a malicious place. I just wanted to help.”

“I know.” She sounded tired, her arms wrapped around herself and Eddie ached to go to her but didn’t dare, not when she was still so wary.

“Rach? Are we okay?”

Her gaze flicked up to meet his. She was tired, and was this really worth fighting over? It was already done, and it hadn’t caused any harm, not really and Rachel hadn’t even decided to nod before she found herself doing so, immediate relief immediately flooding Eddie’s expression. Now he stepped forward, tentatively enfolding her into an embrace and she leant into the warmth of him, relishing in it. “I am sorry,” he murmured, and she closed her eyes.

“It’s fine. It’s not like either of us can change it now.”

Guilt threatened to choke him. “I’m sorry.”

“Eddie, it’s fine. Stop apologising.” She lifted her head to look at him. “And maybe don’t do it again.”

“Never,” he promised instantly. “I really am so-,”

“If you apologise one more time I’m kicking you out!” She jabbed a finger at him, narrowing her eyes and his mouth clicked shut. She gave a nod. “Good decision.”


	11. Chapter 11

Eddie liked to think he was getting pretty good at reading Rachel’s emotions. That said, her hurrying into his classroom just after the lunch bell had rung with a distraught expression on her face didn’t need much reading. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t get a hold of Stuart.”

He almost dropped the textbook he’d picked up off of the desk. “Why are you trying to?”

Rachel looked at him disbelieving. “Haven’t you noticed?”

“Noticed what?”

“The builders aren’t here! They never turned up this morning, no one contacted us with an explanation- how the hell did you not know that?” She didn’t mean to snap, but she could barely breathe and he was being dense, she thought hysterically. “And I can’t find him, Eddie.”

“Rachel, calm down...”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Her voice rose, eyes wide and visibly panicked. “He hasn’t turned up at the office, Eddie! He isn’t answering his phone! No one knows where he is.”

He completely disregarded the windows in the classroom, and slid his arms around her. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured. “There are lots of possible reasons he’s gone incommunicado- I’ve gone silent for longer periods of time.”

“Had someone pointed a potential murderer at you?”

She had a point there. Eddie sighed, pressed a kiss to her head. “It’ll be alright.”

“You keep saying that- how, Eddie?” She raised her head, looked at him through haunted eyes. “No matter what happens, how is this ever going to be alright?”

“Rachel-,”

But before he could get another word out, rapidly approaching footsteps had Rachel wrenching herself out of his grip, hastily back-peddling a few steps while ignoring Eddie’s instinctive frown. “YOU TWO! NO RUNNING!”

His stomach twisted when he saw Rachel flinch instinctively, almost visibly withdrawing from him. “I should go…”

“Rachel-,”

“No, this isn’t your problem. I’m sorry.”

“Rachel!” His voice rose and he caught hold of her shoulders, stopping her retreat. “Why _did_ you come to me?” he asked, more softly now and felt her tense beneath his fingers. He could practically see the war inside her head, her expression torn as she hesitated over her response and he held his breath, not sure what answer he was waiting for but knowing it was going to be important anyway.

“I don’t know…”

“That’s a cop-out,” he said instantly. “Why, Rach?”

She crossed her arms and the movement dislodged his hands. He let them fall away, but held her gaze and she shifted onto one foot, scowling. “Why does it matter?”

“Why can’t you even admit to yourself?” he countered. For a moment, he feared he’d pushed too far, but then she softened, sighing.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry.” He slipped his hands around hers, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “I just want you to admit your feelings. You’re upset and afraid, and your first instinct is to come to me. Surely you realise the significance of that?”

She would never admit just how aware she was of his touch, the feel of his fingers against hers causing her stomach to flip. “Of course I am,” she acknowledged quietly. “Why do you think I’m so scared?”

Pulling her into an embrace had never felt so natural. Her head came to tuck beneath Eddie’s chin and she slid into his arms as if she belonged there. “It shouldn’t be this easy,” she whispered, so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. Almost.

“What are you talking about?”

She drew back to look at him, expression almost frightened. “I’ve known you for less than a year. Closer to half a year. I shouldn’t… this shouldn’t…”

“Since when do these things have a time scale?”

She swallowed harshly, drowning in the soft emotions he was showing her. “Eddie…”

“This works for us,” he interrupted quietly, one hand finding hers again. “Forget about some arbitrary timeline you have in your head. I’ve never told anyone about Stephen, but I told you. You told me about your past. We’ve crammed more into the time we have known each other than most people do, and that’s fine. Stop letting your head rule your heart.”

Oddly enough, it was his easy acceptance of the situation more than his words that eased the knot of panic that had begun to tighten in her chest. Rachel slid her arms around him again, breathed in the scent that was so uniquely him as she finally began to release some of the tension wound up inside her. “Don’t think I don’t know what you just did, by the way.”

“What’s that?”

“You changed the conversation to being about us, so I’d stop panicking about Stuart.” She pulled back just enough to shoot him a knowing look. “Smooth, Lawson.”

He didn’t look the slightest bit apologetic. “It worked, didn’t it?”

She hummed, settling back to where she’d been and resolutely ignoring the knowledge that anyone could walk past and see them.

**W.R.**

Rachel had been back in her office for all of five minutes when the door opened to reveal Eddie looking far too pleased with himself. She raised an eyebrow, amusement dancing through her tone. “Didn’t I just send you off to lunch?”

“And I went.” He held up the items in his hand, which she now recognised as sandwiches and an apple each.

It was a toss-up sometimes, whether she would be appreciative or irritated. In this case, to his relief, her expression softened towards him as she came around her desk. “You don’t have to buy me food, Eddie.”

“You don’t eat properly otherwise,” he commented, depositing his load on the table and nudging a chair backwards in clear invitation. “Honestly Rach, you eat like a bird sometimes. It’s a terrible habit.”

She swallowed the choked lump in her throat, hoping her voice came out steady. “My eating habits are just fine, mr grease and fat.”

He pointed a finger at her, quirking his lips. “At least I eat. Don’t think I don’t know how often you just have an apple for lunch.”

She wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so didn’t, taking her seat and opening her sandwich. “People are going to talk,” she said quietly, less concerned about it than she probably should be. Eddie shrugged.

“They were all pretty distracted by their own food when I was in there.” He chewed a mouthful, somewhat thoughtfully. “Besides, they always talk. This school has a major gossip problem.”

Truer words had never been spoken, Rachel acknowledged, tearing off a bite and popping it in her mouth. “You don’t have to try and look after me, you know,” she said quietly. “I’ve been doing it myself for a really long time, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I know that.” His hand landed on hers, warm and rough as he looked at her with warm eyes. “But did you ever think that maybe I like looking after you?”

Judging by the look on her face, she hadn’t. “Eddie...”

“Rachel, take it for what it is,” he interrupted quickly. “Someone who cares about you making sure you’ve eaten. That’s all.”

She picked up her sandwich again, swallowed thickly without taking a bite. “I don’t need you to look after me.”

“I know you don’t,” Eddie agreed with a sigh that verged on exasperation. “But maybe I want to anyway.”

How was Rachel supposed to argue with that? She’d had a few boyfriends who had wanted to ‘take care of her’. Unfortunately that usually involved her acting helpless while they stroked their own egos, and somehow it never ended up being all that helpful anyway. But Eddie wasn’t like that. And she didn’t have an awful lot to base that belief on, but she was convinced of it anyway- no one else had ever brought her lunch just to make sure she was eating, and to spend time in her company.

“Thank you.”

If the office hadn’t been so quiet, Eddie wouldn’t have heard Rachel speak. She avoided his eyes, focused on pulling her sandwich apart but he didn’t mind, because every so often a mouthful found its way between her lips and a warm sort of satisfaction nestled into his chest. They didn’t look at each other, concentrating on their food in the comfortable silence but both had small smiles that played across their expressions, knees just barely touching under the table.

Rachel unsurprisingly finished before he did, and offered coffee that she returned with just as he was depositing the rubbish in the bin, ignoring the wrinkled nose that came when he glanced at her cup of herbal tea. “Have your year tens sorted themselves out now?” she asked, because that was safe, students and school was a topic they couldn’t possibly go wrong with. She didn’t quite know what to make of the amused smile that flashed across his expression.

“More or less. A couple of outliers, but nothing drastic.”

His gaze seemed to pierce through her and she shifted uncomfortably underneath it, felt her cheeks flush hot. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you know something about me that I don’t.”

He chuckled. “I don’t even know what that means.”

She hummed, somehow perfectly conveying her thoughts on that as her hands wrapped around her cup. The sound went straight through Eddie and he ducked his head, hoping she hadn’t noticed his bug-eyed expression.

“Well, since you’ve been so kind in providing lunch, why don’t I provide dinner tonight?” Rachel suggested softly. “Come over this evening, I’ll cook for us.”

Eddie fought to keep the grin from his face. “That sounds nice.” He rose, rolled his shoulders and without allowing himself to second guess it, leant over to brush his lips against her cheek. “I promised Paul I’d go through trig with him. Eat your apple.”

And then he was gone, empty coffee cup sat on the desk. She hadn’t even seen him drink it. She let out a quiet laugh, picking up the apple and biting into it.

An hour later, and Rachel was drowning in paperwork. Somehow, the amount seemed to have tripled from the last time she’d looked and now she was reading and scrawling signatures as quickly as she could, scoffing under her breath at Matt’s request for an obscene amount of funding for an arts programme. She denied it, shot off an email to him suggesting alternative routes than dipping into school funds.

“Rachel.”

She jumped violently. Her office door had been open, but usually she heard the sounds of someone approaching long before they reached her, whether it be footsteps or the conversation with her assistant. Not in this case, however, and she felt the blood drain from her face as she stared at the figure in the doorway.

“Stuart...”


	12. Chapter 12

Rachel had never been someone who easily felt threatened. She’d been told more than once she had a distinct lack of self-preservation, one that translated into most areas of her life. She’d had students far bigger than her rage in her presence, and not even flinched. She’d had parents threaten her- hadn’t that been fun- and had spent several years in a profession where she made herself vulnerable to other people, and had more than her fair share of cuts and bruises to prove it. Stuart Hordley was a whole different kettle of fish.

She couldn’t find her words as he closed the door behind him, moved closer to her with an unreadable look on his face. He looked gaunt, tired, but in more or less one piece and she wasn’t sure whether that relieved her or terrified her more. He stood, unmoving and silent and it was so unlike their previous interactions, she didn’t know what to think.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was quiet, but it didn’t shake and she’d never been more thankful for anything. There was a long pause.

“My secretary said you were trying to get a hold of me.”

“It didn’t require a personal visit.”

“Well, I know how _very_ _important_ this project is.” His intonation was strange, eyes glittering oddly as he stepped forward. “And despite the week I’m having, I’m still very much involved with it.”

He knew something. Rachel could scarcely breathe, wanted to rise to her feet, put them on the same level but she wasn’t completely convinced her legs would hold her up. The way he was looking at her, the fact that nobody else was around… her heart felt like it was going to thunder right out of her chest. “Stuart…?”

“I know you did something.” He began to stalk around the desk, towards her and she didn’t even think before she scrambled backwards, shoving her chair to the side without thinking about it as he advanced on her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I don’t know? You must have had something to do with it!”

“With what?”

“You expect me to believe it’s a coincidence?” How had this escalated so quickly? Stuart’s gaze was wild, and Rachel was unbelievably thankful that the desk was between them. “Stuart.” She spoke softly, attempting to keep her tone quiet and measured. “Why don’t you tell me what’s happened?

He jabbed a finger at her. “You did this. I know you did this. I don’t know how, but I swear, I will _burn_ your pretty little life into _ashes!_ ”

“You’re insane.” How Rachel kept her voice calm she would never know. “Get out of my office.”

“Oh, I will.” He stepped closer, leant over the desk. “I’ll leave, and go to the staffroom. And the canteen, and the corridors and anywhere else I can think of and I’ll tell everyone your little secret, how their headteacher is nothing but a filthy-”

“Stop it!” She slammed her hands down, eyes flashing. “I have done _everything_ you wanted me to! I do not know what your problem is but I want you out of my school!”

She didn’t know how it happened. One moment, they were stood glaring at each other, her desk safely between them and then it seemed as if she merely blinked and Stuart was somehow in front of her, spitting mad as he shoved her backwards into the wall. Rachel yelped, the sound high-pitched and unusual for her. Her brain was playing catch up, events not fully processing until suddenly, she felt his hand close around her throat.

Her gasp was cut off halfway through, as her airway was forcibly constricted. Her hands flew up to wrap around Stuart’s wrists, but he had more leverage and she quickly revised all of the feelings she’d ever had towards him because in that moment, for the first time, she was truly terrified.

This wasn’t the first time someone had throttled her, unfortunately, but it was the first time it had been done with so much hatred directed towards her. The logical part of her brain wondered what was going to happen next. If Stuart killed her here, it would be damn hard for him to cover that up. Was he rational enough to recognise that? But if he did stop, that would cause its own share of problems. Her eyes met Stuart’s, and there was almost no recognition. Certainly no remorse, or hesitation, just anger and madness and this was how she was going to die. Just what this school needed, she thought sardonically- another death attached to it.

Her lungs were beginning to burn. Her muscles bunched and contracted, desperately trying to draw in a breath while her fingers scrabbled, nails clawing at his hands, his wrists, even his face and she tried to kick him but couldn’t quite get the angle, and of all the times she was interrupted in her office why on earth was no one coming now? She swiped at his eyes, and he jerked backwards, dislodged just enough that she managed half a desperate inhale before the pressure on her throat returned. She aimed again but this time he was ready for her and she would have snarled at him if she could, because she was not dying here and certainly not by his hand. She writhed and twisted and managed to snatch tiny gobbles of air, not enough, nowhere near but all the movement forced Stuart to shift his weight, moving him backwards and that was her chance.

Rachel brought her knee up as hard as she could. It landed bang on target, and almost instantly the hands at her throat were gone. She was across the room in the same time it took her to draw a whole breath, gasping for more, turning to watch Stuart with wary eyes as she leant against the wall for support. He was bent double, wheezing and she couldn’t deny the sliver of satisfaction that settled into her stomach. Right up until the moment that he raised his head, and narrowed his eyes at her.

“Rachel?”

They both looked around at the sound of a voice from the outer office. She’d never been so relieved to be interrupted- Tom poked his head in, brow furrowing as he glanced between her and Stuart on opposite sides of the room. “Everything okay?”

“Stuart was just leaving.” Her voice was shaky and raw sounding, and she saw the concerned look on Tom’s face out of the corner of her eye, but couldn’t turn from Stuart. He’d straightened, eyes piercing into hers. And then without a word, he did as she said, stalking from the room and leaving behind a painfully awkward silence. Rachel could feel Tom’s gaze on her, but didn’t dare look at him, too afraid she would break.

“I’ll come back later,” he said eventually, and closed the door behind him.

Rachel collapsed onto the sofas. She’d have to remember to buy Tom a drink, next time they were out, but for now her focus was elsewhere. Her fingers fumbled for her phone, dialling the number as quickly as she could and the line had barely clicked before she was talking. “What the hell did you do?”

She realised too late that her voice was raspy and hoarse, and there was just a hint of more fear than anger than she would have liked. There was a beat of silence. “I solved your problem, just as you asked.”

“Solved it?” Her voice rose hysterically, but she ignored the pain that speaking caused. “You made it worse! He just tried to strangle me, for God’s sake, you’ve not solved anything!”

“He tried to strangle you?” There was an odd note in his voice, but Rachel barely had time to process it when the door burst open again.

“Rach, do you have the file on- what the hell?”

It was as if Eddie flew to her side, crossing the short distance in an instant with horror and fury etched into the lines of his face. She was confused for the longest moment, until he was brushing her hair back and tilting her chin up, and only then did she realise that the angle they’d been at had let her neck at least partially visible to him, and that Stuart must have left his mark on her.

She swallowed, tried to think of something to say but Eddie was too busy examining the redness marring her skin. “Are those _fingers_?”

“Eddie, it’s okay…”

“It’s not okay!” She felt the rough pads of his own fingers brush her throat, allowed him to tilt her head this way and that in order to get a better look. “Christ, your throat’s going to be black and blue in a few hours! What happened? Did one of the kids do this?”

“Of course not!” She frowned at him, but couldn’t stay annoyed when she saw the raw concern he was emanating. “It was Stuart,” she explained quietly, and his whole face darkened.

“ _WHAT._ ”

Her hand shot out, landing on his wrist and squeezing lightly. “Eddie, I’m fine.”

Eddie looked at her incredulously, speechless for a moment as he waved his hand at her. “You… are not fine!” he spluttered. “You have red finger marks circled around your throat! Rach, he could have killed you! Do you need to go to the hospital?”

She wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe it was the worry in his eyes, or the way he was focused entirely on her, or simply the fact that he was there and she still felt shaky, but all of a sudden the only thing Rachel wanted was him. She shook her head, shifted so that she could wrap her arms around him- the angle was awkward and slightly uncomfortable, but there was no hesitation before he embraced her back and she closed her eyes in the warmth of him, relishing in the feeling. “No hospitals,” she murmured. “I’m okay.”

She felt him press a kiss to her hair, his lips lingering before he rested his cheek in their place. “Tell me that again when you’ve stopped shaking.”

She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut, grip firm around him and it was only then that she caught sight of her phone still in her hand, and that she’d forgotten all about the call she’d been on.

Without moving away from Eddie, a flick of a finger lit the screen up, and revealed that the call had been cancelled. But she had no idea how much the man on the other end had heard first, or what he’d do about it and her rash actions suddenly seemed like a much worse idea than they had before.

**W.R.**

“This looks great.” Rachel gave Eddie a warm smile as they settled onto her sofa, balancing plates on their laps.

He shrugged at her. “It’s nothing amazing, but it’s edible.”

“It’s a homecooked meal, trust me, that’s wonderful.” She glanced at him. “Especially when you wouldn’t help me cook it.”

“That would defeat the point of spoiling you, wouldn’t it?”

She wasn’t quite quick enough to hide the way her cheeks turned pink, and Eddie couldn’t help but grin at the sight. There had been no way he was going to let her be alone tonight, but equally she had wanted nothing more than to go home and so they had compromised, although Eddie had insisted on cooking dinner. Which was how they’d ended up here, with two steaming risottos and the tv playing some programme that didn’t require too much brain power to follow.

It hadn’t been playing long when Eddie suddenly spoke. “You should go to the police.”

Rachel didn’t even look at him. “No.”

“Rachel…!”

“ _No._ ” It was firm and emphatic, enough that it gave him pause.

“You’re making a mistake.” He speared a chunk of chicken, jabbing it harder than necessary.

“Maybe. But that is my mistake to make.” Now, she turned her head, eyes piercing. “Eddie, please, I don’t want to argue with you again. Can we just agree to disagree and leave it?”

He sighed, putting his plate to one side. “And what if Stuart goes further next time? Sane people don’t strangle women in the middle of a school, he’s obviously not right in the head! Your way of fixing this hasn’t worked, Rach.”

Her fork made a clatter as she threw it down. “And going to the police will?”

“I don’t know!” he exploded, and it was as if a dam had broken. “I don’t know if it will change anything! Maybe it won’t do a damn thing! But it’s got to be better than you sitting there with a ring of bruises around your throat! Do you have any idea what it’s like for me to-” his voice cracked and Rachel looked stunned, ice spilling down her spine. “Goddamn it, Rachel, do you realise how many times you’ve broken down in my arms in the past few weeks? Do you know what it’s like to have to watch that?”

“Eddie-,”

“You could have died today.” His voice was flat, but there was a tremor that he didn’t quite manage to conceal. “If things had gone differently, if Tom hadn’t walked in… he could have killed you. Does that even register with you? You… you could have…”

It was Rachel’s turn to take Eddie into her arms and for him to cling to her tightly, drawing her into his lap, grip so strong that she almost couldn’t breathe. She didn’t care. His face was buried in the crook of her neck, arms engulfing her. She hadn’t realised, Rachel thought, almost paralyzed with guilt. She hadn’t seen how this affected him as well. Her lips pressed against his skin, whatever she could reach. Over and over, and it wasn’t until she tasted salt that she realised she was crying.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

She felt Eddie kiss the curve of her neck, just once, before his cheek pressed against hers. “I don’t care if this is too fast,” he murmured. “The thought of anything happening to you… Rachel…”

Her hand was warm against his jaw. “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m right here, and I’m fine.”

Eddie drew back, trailing the backs of his fingers over the discolouration on her throat. The bruises had blossomed into purple and blue hues, dark enough to be noticeable. He had no idea how she planned to hide them the next day, nor how to explain them away. What they were was obvious.

He didn’t even think about it before he lowered his head to brush his lips against the marks, and Rachel’s breath hitched. She tipped her head back, allowing him access to follow the line around her throat, his lips rough and hot against her skin. “Eddie…” She didn’t remember closing her eyes, but suddenly her face was being tipped downwards and she found herself fluttering her eyelids open, looking straight into his eyes.

Time stopped. The entire world fell away, until it was just the two of them, with unsteady breathing and an almost painful awareness of the other. Rachel reached out, fingers trembling as she touched them to his jaw, stubble scratching the pads of her fingers. One of his hands was rested on her hip, practically burning through the material of her trousers and Rachel was perfectly aware of every inch of him, from where his hands were to the feel of his thighs beneath her and the jolt of want that ran through her was so strong it took her breath away.

She couldn’t have kept from kissing him for anything. What started out as slow and deep quickly heated, Eddie’s mouth moving hard against hers, his hands pulling her flush against him. She’d ended up straddling him somewhere along the way, and it was a position that gave him complete access. She wasn’t about to complain. His movements had a touch of desperation, hands clutching and just a bit too hard, too hurried and Rachel slid her fingers through his hair, nuzzling into him. “I’m right here. I’m fine, Eddie. I’m so sorry.”

Yes she was, Eddie thought, warm and alive beneath his hands. And he intended to show her exactly how much that meant to him.


	13. Chapter 13

The feel of skin-on-skin underneath the covers was a sensation that Eddie had almost forgotten. His fingers drew circles on Rachel’s hip, an absent pattern that wasn’t enough to draw her from the exhausted sleep she’d fallen into. He wasn’t surprised- she’d been through a roller coaster of emotions during the day, and she needed this, he thought, this deep, uninterrupted sleep. He suspected that she hadn’t had it in a while. He needed it too, if he were honest. He was getting too old for late nights and early mornings, could feel the fatigue settling into his bones, eyes burning with tiredness. But he wanted to watch Rachel for a little longer. He had never seen her like this, so completely relaxed and unguarded, the lines smoothed from her face so that she looked peaceful for the first time in his memory. He knew that there weren’t many who got to see her this way, and the privilege wasn’t lost on him.

It troubled him, however, the thought that she might not have been here. It was the reason he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes quite yet. He knew all too well how the universe could change in an instant, how a fluke of circumstance could tear a life away. He carried the grief of that with him every day, and the thought of it happening to Rachel… his phone was in the pocket of his jeans, discarded on the floor and it was simple enough to ease his way out from where she rested against him, barely earning a murmur from her- he found the phone even without being able to see properly, wincing as the light seared his eyes through the darkness. It was too late to call, but a text would be enough. Explaining to Andy, briefly, what had happened and asking if the reasons behind it would be brought up in court if charges were pressed.

He would tell Rachel what he’d done in the morning, he decided, looking over his shoulder at her. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. Wasn’t that foolish. And would simply have to hope that she understood, that she wouldn’t be too angry with him. But how could he not have done this? When he was haunted by what could have happened, the images of purple bruises dancing on his eyelids every time he closed his eyes.

He slid back next to Rachel, settling beneath the covers and forcing himself to relax. Only to jump when she shifted, pressed against him.

Eddie froze and glanced at her, but she was still asleep, settling down again as soon as she felt him against her and he tried to ignore the blooming within him at that, careful as he wrapped an arm around her waist. He thought she’d wake up, or at least stir but she didn’t even appear to notice, deeply asleep even when he pressed his face into the space between her shoulders and struggled to just breathe.

To his amusement, Rachel’s actions didn’t appear to be a fluke. She seemed to reach for him throughout the night, reassured only if she was touching him in some way. Not that he minded, quite the opposite in fact. If she hadn’t done it, he suspected he would have been in her place, needing to feel her alive and warm underneath his touch. It meant that when he registered cooler cotton between his fingers instead of skin, he reached for Rachel automatically, only for him to jar awake when he found empty space instead.

His panic lasted for just a minute, until he smelt coffee and caught sight of the time. And he groaned- he had not had enough sleep for him to happily face the day, but his conscience wouldn’t allow him to go back to sleep.

He was still bleary-eyed and distinctly unhappy when he stumbled downstairs, surprised when he found Rachel stood with wet hair and a steaming cup of coffee, looking at him in amusement. “You could have stayed in bed a little longer.”

He shook his head. “How are you so awake?”

Her answering grin was happy and wicked. “What’s wrong, old man? Too much exertion on a school night?”

“Bloody cheek.” Eddie dropped a kiss to her cheek, lingering for a long moment as he wrapped his arm sideways across her and tried to ignore the smattering of bruises across her throat. “Good morning.”

Her smile melted away any lingering regrets at getting out of bed. “Good morning.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips, smoothed a thumb over his jaw and repressed a laugh at the stubble there. “Help yourself to coffee.”

She vanished into the living room, and he heard the click of the television as she turned it on. He didn’t pay much attention, concentrated on his task and mentally calculating how long he had to get home and wash up before he had to be in school.

“Eddie? Have you seen the news the past couple of days?”

There was an odd note to Rachel’s voice that had him pausing, raising his head with a frown. “No. Why?”

“I think I know what Stuart was so angry about.”

She was stood in the entrance to the living room, hands wrapped around her mug and gaze fixed on the screen. It didn’t take him long to see why. The burnt-out shell of a building being shown wasn’t instantly recognisable- the bold headline declaring arson at Hordley Constructions was.

“Is that...?”

“Stuart’s head offices,” she confirmed without moving her gaze. “Everything was in there. Contracts, plans… it burnt down two nights ago. I hadn’t heard...”

He didn’t remember resting his hands on her shoulders, but now they were there he gave them a light squeeze. “Neither had I,” he murmured. “This will end his business.”

She nodded, still not looking away. “He was already in trouble, he can’t afford to rebuild. He’s lost everything.”

“Good.”

“Eddie!” She spun, eyes wide but he set his jaw and shrugged, stubbornly unapologetic.

“I mean it. I’m glad he’s lost it all, it’s no less than he deserves.”

She looked torn, biting her lip as she turned back towards the screen. “Do you really think that?”

“Take a look at your neck in the mirror and tell me you don’t.”

Her fingers flew to her throat without her permission, a faint grimace rippling over her face at the reminder. Eddie pressed a kiss to the side of her head, before reaching over to turn the television off. “He got what he deserved.”

Rachel didn’t move as he walked away back to the kitchen, eyes fixed on the black screen and nausea swirling in her stomach.

**W.R.**

“Rachel, the builders aren’t here again.” Steph crossed her arms disapprovingly, looking out the window of the staffroom. Rachel fought to keep the discomfort from her face.

“I’m not surprised. They probably won’t be in for a few days, in light of everything.”

There were a few beats of silence. “Everything?” Matt questioned, and she feigned surprise, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t any of you watch the news?”

Ignoring, of course, that she’d only seen it herself that morning. A murmur went round the room, a general consensus that no one knew what she was talking about. “Hordley construction’s offices were burnt down in an arson attack two nights ago,” she explained calmly. Her heart pounded so fast she was surprised no one could hear it. There was dead silence, and a glance revealed shocked faces and furrowed brows.

“What does that mean for the new building?” Tom questioned eventually, and multiple eyes swivelled in her direction as they waited for her answer.

“I don’t know yet,” she admitted. “I’m expecting the LEA to call a meeting any time. My guess is they’ll withdraw the contract and offer it to someone else.”

Tom blew out a breath. “Jesus. You have to feel sorry for the guy.”

Did she? There were sounds of agreement, a half dozen conversations immediately springing up and Rachel felt sick. She went unnoticed as she slipped from the room, drifting away from it without any fixed destination in mind. She didn’t feel sorry for Stuart, she was realising. She felt guilt over her own actions, for the innocent people who worked for Stuart but the man himself? Nothing.

When she voiced as much to Eddie, having ended up in his classroom without even intending to, the man laughed. “Rachel, you’re not supposed to feel sorry for him.” Exasperation and amusement coloured his voice. “He assaulted you, blackmailed you, threatened you… you’re _supposed_ to hate the guy, not worry about him.”

“I don’t _hate_ him,” she defended lightly, perching on a desk. “I just… vehemently dislike him.”

Eddie snorted a laugh, coming to lean opposite her. “Well, you’re allowed to. Encouraged to, even.”

She smiled, inexplicably feeling better. And because she wanted to, without allowing herself to think about it too much, she stepped forward and captured his mouth in a soft kiss.

Eddie was grinning at her when she drew back. “PDA at work, Miss Mason? I’m shocked.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “See if I do it again, then,” she snarked, no malice in her tone. “And on that note, I’m off.”

“Rach, wait.” He sprung up, caught hold of her wrist as she made to leave. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“What’s wrong?”

Eddie swallowed thickly. “I need to tell you something, and I need you to know I didn’t do this to go behind your back or against your wishes, but because I’m worried for you.”

The platitudes didn’t help much. She looked instantly pale, eyeing him cautiously. “What is it?”

“I messaged Andy last night about what Stuart did,” he revealed steadily. “Didn’t mention your name, but I told him what had happened and asked where you stood within the law.”

Rachel stared at him, until he began to shift on his feet and squirm like a schoolboy. “Rach…”

“Let me get this straight.” Her voice was flat, and his stomach dropped. “You completely disregarded my views on the matter. You broke the promise you made not to talk to anyone without mentioning it to me first. You’ve quite possibly pushed me into the centre of a police investigation and you expect it to be okay because you did all that because you care about me?”

This wasn’t going well. “Rachel, I haven’t pushed you into anything. I just asked for advice from a friend.”

“Has it really not occurred that there is going to be an arson investigation?” She looked at him incredulously. “How long do you think it's going to take for your friend to mention that he happens to know Hordley was blackmailing someone? Over a building contract, in fact, and since he hasn’t been awarded that many in the past few months it’s not going to take a genius to connect it back to Waterloo Road. And therefore me.”

“Unless you admit that it was you…”

“Don’t you think a police check will be in-depth enough to discover a name change?” she snapped. “And everything that came before that? For Gods’ sake, Eddie.”

She turned away, running her hands through her hair and Eddie felt the size of an ant. He hadn’t thought of any of that, he admitted, and shifted uncomfortably. “Andy is a mate, he wouldn’t do that…”

“Darling, for a secondary teacher you are far too trusting for your own good.”

Relief hit him, not at her words, but the endearment she used. Endearments were good, endearments meant that she wasn’t going to walk away from them, from him. “I was trying to help,” he said quietly and heard her sigh.

“I know.” She turned to face him, looking unbelievably tired. “It makes it very hard to stay angry with you.”

It was as if a balloon deflated, the tension instantly leaking out of the room. Eddie stepped towards her, paused unsurely. “I’m sorry.”

Rachel sighed, moved closer to gently run her thumb over his jaw. “You have got to stop trying to be my knight in shining armour. I don’t need one.”

“I know that. But Rach, you’re standing in front of me with a scarf hiding bruises around your throat. And you’re not willing to do anything about it.”

She froze. Had she told him about her impulsive phone call? She was almost certain she had, but couldn’t remember actually doing it… she must have mentioned it, surely? He was looking at her, all softness and worry and she closed her eyes for a moment, felt her stomach knot. “I think I need to tell you something too.”


	14. Chapter 14

Steph Haydock was having a very bad day. It had started with the headache from hell, pounding behind her eyes and making the room spin. Then she’d had an argument with Maxine, got caught up in traffic which meant she had to forego her usual morning coffee in the staffroom and realised only when her year eight students were sat in front of her that she’d left all their books at home.

She was thoroughly fed up, so when Matt took teasing her too far at lunch time, instead of her usual witty retort, she’d instead stormed out of the staff room and headed towards her classroom, intending to brood at her desk instead of facing her co-workers. Her route just happened to take her down the maths corridor, and she almost didn’t look inside any of the rooms. Almost. But when movement caught her eye, she turned her head automatically. And came to a dead stop.

Of all the things she’d been expecting to see today, Rachel and Eddie embracing hadn’t been one of them.

Steph blinked, jaw on the ground, and had to resist the urge to rub her eyes in disbelief. Rachel had her hands resting on Eddie’s chest, his arms around her as he spoke quietly and as Steph watched, she nodded to whatever it was, hands sliding up to rest on his shoulders before she stretched up to kiss him.

A strangled, gargley noise left Steph. She hastily retraced her steps, almost crashing into Matt coming out the staffroom. “What’s wrong with you?”

She pointed behind her, breathless and bright eyed. “Rachel and Eddie!”

He groaned, and pushed past her. “Not this again. They’re not together, you’ve got to drop this!”

“Oh yes, I’m sure Rachel was kissing him as part of her role as headteacher. Nothing more.”

“Exactly,” he agreed absently. Then came to a sudden halt. “Wait, what?”

She grinned.

**W.R.**

As gossip was wont to do at Waterloo Road, the story sped like wildfire. Matt told Jasmine who told Davina who told Tom, unfortunately within the hearing of Chlo, who of course told Janeece and Maxine. By the end of the day, the entirety of the staff and vast majority of the student body had heard some version of the tale. But of course, it had been… twisted, as it had been passed along and those who heard it later on in the day ended up with a vastly different rendition than was accurate.

Eddie himself took until almost fourth period the following day to discover what had happened. In his defence, he’d had year sevens for two hours that morning and then the year thirteens who were only weeks away from their exams, so it wasn’t until his year ten class were particularly unsettled that he noted anything was wrong. “Maybe you should go get Miss Mason to deal with us, sir!” One boy jeered from the back when he questioned them, and the class exploded into laughter. Eddie paused, puzzled.

“What’s going on? What does Miss Mason have to do with anything?”

Cue another round of snickering. “What, don’t you want to see her, sir?”

“Funnily enough, Billy, I’m perfectly capable of sending you to the cooler myself. Which is what is going to happen if you don’t pipe down.”

“That’s bad form, that is, sir. Dropping a girl after you’ve banged her.”

The class exploded. Eddie just stared at him, so stunned and baffled that he forgot to be outraged. “Excuse me?”

One of the girls near the front took pity on him. “It’s all over school, sir. That you and Miss Mason got caught in an empty classroom yesterday.”

Eddie spluttered, his stomach dropping into his shoes.

“Yeah, Maxine Barlowe saw you!”

“No, I heard it was some year eight…”

“No, it was Mr Clark!”

Eddie had to get on top of this. “Doesn’t the fact none of your stories match up tell you that they might not be entirely accurate?”

“But they’re a little accurate?” Billy again, a sly note in his voice.

“ENOUGH!” Now that Eddie’s brain had caught up with what was happening, anger and fear had taken hold. If just one of the kids went home and told a parent, and that parent went to the LEA… the classrooms weren’t covered by CCTV, things could get very nasty. Someone had obviously seen something this morning, and embellished the story. It was the sort of rumour that damaged careers, and with everything Rachel was already facing… he took a deep breath, looked out at the wide-eyed students facing him. “I assure you, Miss Mason and I certainly weren’t caught doing anything this morning. There isn’t a teacher in school who would risk doing that.”

He looked at their faces, saw the glances they exchanged, and sighed. “Alright, forget Pythagoras. We’re going to talk about rumours and professionalism instead.”

Across school, Rachel was oblivious to what was going on outside her office. A mountain of paperwork had ceded into an emergency phone conference with the LEA over the building work, which went on for so long she missed lunch and almost immediately she had to deal with social services for over an hour, which could be difficult enough on the best of days. She was vaguely aware of the final bell ringing, of the sudden increase in noise from outside but the woman on the other end of the phone showed no signs of quietening anytime soon. So when Eddie poked his head into her office, she was thoroughly relieved, and waved him in when he tried to retreat. “Samantha, I’m so sorry but my deputy has just come in, I’m needed. Could we continue this another time? Excellent… yes of course, goodbye.”

She hastily hung up, and immediately rested her forehead in her hands. “Good God.” Her voice was muffled, her head raising to look at Eddie apprehensively. “You didn’t actually need me for something, did you?”

“Not anything you have to stand up for.”

“That’s probably a good thing, because I’ve been sat here for so long I’m not sure I _can_ stand up.” She stretched in her seat, wincing as her back pulled. Then she caught sight of his expression. “What?”

Eddie grimaced. “There’s a bit of a… situation.”

He didn’t really want to have to tell her this. He could deal with a sudden demand to be rigidly professional at work, but there was also a large possibility she was going to panic, he knew, and pull away from him, and quite frankly that was an argument he would prefer to avoid having again. Rachel was eyeing him worriedly, the way he hovered in the middle of the room, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Eddie?”

He grimaced, and lowered himself into a seat. “I need you not to panic.”

He could practically see every muscle in her freeze up. “Because that’ll keep me calm,” she said dryly. “What is it?”

He swallowed dryly. This wasn’t going to be fun, and he braced himself for a storm.

Only to find himself, five minutes later, staring at her incredulously. She raised her head, caught his eye, and burst into her second round of giggles. His jaw dropped even further. “Have you hit your head?”

She waved a hand at him. “You have to admit it’s a little funny.”

“Funny? You think it’s funny?” He gaped at her.

“A little. Why are you so worried?”

It was like an alternate universe, he thought, a little dazed. “Why aren’t you?”

“Because it’s ridiculous.” She looked amused, tilting her head at him. “Eddie, anyone with half a brain would know it isn’t true.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” he grumbled. “The severe lack of people with half a brain around here.”

She laughed again, rested her chin on her hand. “Apart from anything, Eddie, there are cameras.”

“Not in the classrooms.”

“But in the corridors. And I should think it would be obvious if we’d been getting happy in a classroom together. Who saw us anyway?”

He shrugged. “Every kid heard a different version of the story.”

She hummed, standing to round the desk and sit next to him. “A few days, and there’ll be something juicer for them to talk about. We’ll just have to weather it until then.”

She was so calm, he could only his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re not more upset about this.”

“In the grand scheme of things at the moment, this? Not even on my radar.”

Oh. Eddie’s stomach clenched- he hadn’t quite forgotten, exactly, but he’d allowed himself to get caught up, the other issues they were facing falling to the wayside. Now it all came rushing back. He reached for her hand, running a thumb over her knuckles. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him instantly. “Six months ago you would have been right. This would have been my worst nightmare. Now? Now there are worse things I can think of.”

He lifted her hand, pressed a kiss to the back of it and quietly enjoying the way her cheeks flushed pink at the gesture. “Hordley has already lost. He has no reason to tell everyone now-”

“You think that will stop him?”

Eddie fell silent. He didn’t quite know what to say to that.

**W.R.**

“I’ll get the shopping if you grab the paperwork?”

Rachel nodded in response to Eddie’s suggestion, grabbing the box off of the backseat along with her own belongings and balancing it as she let herself into the house while he was still grabbing bags out of the boot. It hadn’t taken much convincing for Eddie to persuade her to bring the paperwork home instead of remaining at school, which had somehow ceded into cooking dinner together as well. One stop at the supermarket for extra ingredients and a bottle of wine, and here they were.

The hallway light was still turned off, but the space was illuminated by a soft glow from the kitchen that had Rachel frowning. She never turned the light on in the mornings, it was still light enough to see and even if she had, she was fastidious about turning them off again when she left the room. Which begged the question, how was it on now?

She dumped the box on the floor and cursed the way her boots clacked against the wood of the floor as she walked forwards. The light was spilling from the gap where the door was ajar, and a single push was enough to swing it open and reveal the kitchen as a whole. The seemingly empty kitchen, dressed in odd shadows thrown by the low-lying island lights, and the whole thing made Rachel want to laugh because what had she been expecting? She just hadn’t noticed the lights before she’d left that morning, that was all.

“Amanda.”

She gasped, jerking backwards as her eyes snapped to the back of the room. It was mostly in darkness, the light not reaching that far thanks to the placement of the cabinets, and she hadn’t been able to see the man sat by the windows. At least, not until he now stood, emerging from the shadows with an expressionless look on his face.

“How did you get in here?” It was the first question that sprang to mind, her heart racing and ice pooling in her veins. It made the man’s lips quirk in amusement.

“As if a locked door could deter me.”

She swallowed dryly. “What do you want?”

“You called me,” he reminded her, moving forwards oh so slowly and Rachel almost stepped backwards but caught herself, forced her feet to remain where they were.

“I shouldn’t have.” Her voice calm, surprising even herself. “I was just angry, and a little panicked.”

“Understandably.” He was stood in front of her now, close enough to touch. His gaze bore into her, and just as always she felt as if he could see straight into her very soul. “May I?

It took a moment, for her to process the question, realise that his hand was hovering next to the patterned scarf tied around her neck. Not an accessory she would have usually worn, but a necessary one that morning- she was planning on a rollneck for tomorrow. Rachel was sure her harsh swallow had been noted, but nothing was said as she gave a jerky nod of permission, and immediately felt fingers unknotting the scarf.

The air was uncomfortably cool against her throat as the material was drawn away, a shiver trailing down her spine in response. As she watched, the eyes studying her darkened, emotion twisting within them, air hissing between clenched teeth.

She didn’t have time to do anything but inhale sharply when she heard the clatter of footsteps from behind her, coming to an abrupt halt in the doorway of the kitchen. “Rachel?”

“It’s okay,” she murmured without looking round. “He’s… the one I was telling you about.”

She was absolutely not about to call him the fixer to his face. Eddie shifted, and she didn’t have to see him to know he was tense, and unhappy. She didn’t move a muscle as the back of a finger was brushed against the right of her windpipe, where she knew a thumb had left a bruise a few shades darker than the others surrounding it.

“I knew the man was a fool. I underestimated just how much.” His voice was low, almost unaffected if it hadn’t been for the dark, dangerous note in the undertones. “He will not touch you again.”

Her heart just about stopped. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly that.” His hand fell away and he stepped backwards, hands clasping behind his back. It was as if the movement was the permission Eddie needed, for now he came into the room properly, stepping so close to Rachel that she could feel the heat emanating from his body and his hand landed on her back, hidden from view but a supportive comfort nonetheless. She didn’t need it, exactly, but was grateful for it all the same.

“I don’t want to be responsible for his death.” It was torn from her before she’d even realised it, a dark fear hanging in the air, leaving behind agonising silence. She didn’t dare move, barely breathed.

“And yet he was more than willing to be responsible for yours.”

There was no anger in his voice, more curiosity, but that didn’t mean anything. Rachel swallowed hard again, ignored the faint pain that accompanied the action. “I’m not him. And I can’t live with-” She cut herself off, felt Eddie press his hand more firmly against her as she closed her eyes, rubbed a hand over her face.

When the voice she’d been expecting came, it was mild and quiet. “He tried to kill you.”

She didn’t appreciate the reminder. “He was just angry. He wouldn’t have… I’m not sure he would have actually killed me.”

“Only because Tom interrupted.” Eddie’s grumble was the first time he’d spoken, and Rachel realised there was no fear or shock in his voice. He was keeping quiet for her, she realised, so that she could have this conversation and the knowledge had warmth curling in her chest.

“You sound like a battered woman.”

And the warmth was swept away by a cascade of ice. Rachel jerked, mouth falling open and she was about to argue, to defend herself but couldn’t think of how to defend against that.

“I will refrain from killing him, if that is what you wish.” He was moving forward again, coming to stand in front of her with his gaze fixed unwaveringly on hers. “But perhaps you should remember that there are worse things than death, Amanda.”

She flinched. She couldn’t help it. And it was enough for Eddie to drop the pretence, for his hands to land on her shoulders and she could only imagine the glare he was giving. “That’s enough.”

“Is it?” The fixer never even looked at him. “You asked for my help, Amanda, and I will willingly give it. How I do so must weigh on my conscience, not yours. You cannot take responsibility for the actions of others.”

“I can if it’s my fault!”

“Amanda.” His voice was almost gentle. “Stuart Hordley is not a good man. Do you think that you are the first he has brought harm to? The knowledge and actions of Tessa may have given him an unusual advantage, but he is no stranger to playing the game. You are merely the latest and most severe in a long line.”

Rachel visibly blanched. Somehow, in the midst of all this, that possibility hadn’t actually occurred to her. Eddie’s hands tightened against her shoulders as she swallowed harshly, closed her eyes for a moment. “That doesn’t mean he deserves to die.”

“No. But neither do you deserve to suffer.”

She buried her face in her hands. She didn’t want to deal with this, wanted to be anywhere but here at this moment and for the first time in a long time, she longed to be a child again, able to run and hide behind her mother’s legs. Eddie seemed to understand, trying his best to comfort her but as much as she was grateful, it ultimately changed nothing.

“Amanda… _Rachel_.” Her chin was lifted, her eyes forced to meet the pair gazing back at her. “What is it you truly want?”

“I want him gone!” The words tumbled from her lips, honest and guilt-tinged. Nausea rose up within her, but they were truthful and there was little point in being anything else around the man in front of her.

“Then he shall be.”

“But-”

“Look at this.” A hand slid into the inside jacket pocket, withdrew a wallet from which a single photo was slid. “Look at them.”

Rachel took it without a word, eyes already filling. Because she recognised the woman in the centre of the photo, her startling blue eyes unchanged from when she’d seen her last. Laughing, with her arm around a girl who could only be her daughter, the daughter Rachel instinctively knew was the baby she’d fled to give birth to. And perhaps even more astonishingly, another girl, barely more than a toddler, held in the arms of a boy who would be starting secondary school soon, if he hadn’t already. A picture-perfect family, all happy and beaming.

“They exist because of you.” The fixer’s voice was quiet. “My children live because of what you did. My wife is healthy and happy, my eldest daughter just starting her adult life. Every single one of them is here because you risked yourself to help them… to help _us_. Do you regret that?”

She shook her head instantly. “No. Never.”

“Then allow me to do this, and shoulder the responsibility myself.” His hand landed on hers, gentle in a way that she wouldn’t believe if she wasn’t experiencing it. “You asked for help, how I have chosen to give it is my choice, not yours. Guilt is one emotion you should not feel.”

Rachel swallowed thickly, voice barely a whisper. “What are you going to do to him?”

“Do you really wish to know?”

She inhaled sharply, cringing inwardly and barely felt Eddie shift behind her, drawing her closer. “Rachel, I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything that would make you unhappy.” Above her head, unseen by her he shot the man a glance, receiving an amused quirk of the eyebrow in return.

“My only intent is to protect you, Amanda, as you protected my family.”

Before she could talk herself out of it, she gave a harsh nod, and found a small, pleased look directed at her. “Excellent. And now, I shall leave you to your evening. Until next time, Amanda, Mr Lawson.”

They remained in place as he walked around them and out of the kitchen, listened to the sound of his footsteps in the hallway, before the front door opened and closed again. And only then did Eddie frown. “How did he know my name?”


	15. Chapter 15

When Eddie left Rachel’s home, probably far later than he should have on a school night, he was somehow unsurprised to see the figure waiting for him in the passenger seat of his car. A figure that said nothing as he slid inside, keys rested in the palm of his hand. They sat there, the two of them, for so long that the overhead lights flicked off and a strange, artificial quiet filled the car as the outside world muted and faded.

It was Eddie who broke the silence. “He was going to kill her.” The words were acidic on his tongue.

“You are certain of this?”

“She was more talkative before the shock wore off. He was going to go for her again when Tom walked in.”

He received silence, but he was beginning to understand this man a little better and this time, refused to speak first.

“You wish for me to deal with him on a more… permanent basis.”

It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t wrong, either, and Eddie began to wish he had alcohol for this conversation. “I want Rachel to be safe,” he corrected slowly. “However that looks. And as much as I hate to admit it, you can achieve that better than I can.”

After all, he hadn’t even received a reply from Andy yet. To his surprise, his passenger sighed. “On that we agree. She will blame herself, however, should anything happen to him.”

“She won’t even have him charged with assault!” Eddie snapped. “What happens the next time he decides to visit her, and there’s no one else around?”

He found himself on the end of an uncomfortably appraising look. He was just beginning to wonder if losing his temper was perhaps not the best idea he’d ever had, when soft laughter filled the car. “You love her.”

Eddie blanched. “I… I’m…”

The laughter grew. “You haven’t told her?”

“This is really none of your business.”

“Perhaps not. But I am glad to know that she will be looked after.”

“She’d say she doesn’t need looking after.”

“True.”

Another silence, this one growing weightier and more filled until Eddie blew out a breath, leaning his head back. “I want her safe,” he repeated softly, insides twisting uncomfortably.

“Even if our Mr Hordley was hit by a bus tomorrow, she would always wonder. Always have that voice in the back of her head questioning if it was her fault.”

Eddie gritted his teeth. “Isn’t that better than ending up dead? And why are you looking at me like that?”

The other man had an odd expression on his face as he studied Eddie, the rest of him as relaxed as could be, as if they were discussing the weather or something as equally asinine. “You would go behind her back to protect her?”

Eddie felt like they were going in circles. “I’d protect her when she wasn’t willing to do it herself,” he corrected. “You claim to know her, you know she always puts others before herself.” He remembered what she’d explained about Bolton, how it had been Hordley’s threat against him that had made her change her mind about conceding to the blackmail. The number of times she’d worked late, or come in early, just to help one of the kids. Putting herself through the indignity of the prison experience (the kids talked), throwing a Hail Mary for the sake of a group of children most of the world had already turned their back on. “Hordley isn’t just a slimeball. He could have really hurt her.”

A few beats passed, then another, and another. “I will help her. In my own way.”

What the hell did that mean? But before he could ask, the door was being opened and Eddie was alone, more than a little taken aback. “Wait!” He fumbled for the handle, but by the time he’d opened his own door and climbed out, the street was empty.

Eddie stood for a long moment, blinking in confusion and felt a sliver of unease curl around his spine and into his stomach.

He should go home, he knew. Just as he’d planned, go to his own bed and sleep and see Rachel in the morning, just as he did every day. Only… he couldn’t do it. He’d barely made the decision when he was stepping away from his car, scarcely remembering to lock it behind him as he jogged back to Rachel’s front door and knocked.

She’d already removed her makeup when she answered, bare toes curled against the cold wood and her eyes widened at the sight of him, before crinkling in amusement. “Didn’t I get rid of you already?”

He shrugged sheepishly. “Couldn’t do it. Mind loaning out your sofa for the night?”

The lines of Rachel’s mouth twisted. “I don’t need a bodyguard, Eddie.”

“Ever think it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me?”

She blinked in shock, before her expression softened and she nodded, stepping backwards to allow him in. The door was barely closed before she’d wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug and it was all the invitation he needed to bury his nose in her hair, closing his eyes against the feel of her in his arms.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there. Too long, he knew, as the chill that came with night-time began to creep its way through him and he still had his jacket on- Rachel had only the top she’d changed into before they’d eaten dinner. But he couldn’t bring himself to release her, and eventually she was the who shifted, drew back to look at him. “It’s late.” Her fingers brushed across his jaw. “Let’s go to bed.”

He loosened his grip, reluctantly, didn’t even have a chance to step backwards before her hand was entwining with his and she was leading him upstairs.

**W.R.**

Eddie wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting over the next few days. But he’d been anticipating… something. Instead, life was painfully normal. The kids misbehaved and got into all sorts of odd situations, he had workbooks to mark and textbooks to tape together. There was no sign that that particular evening had ever happened, and for the first time he began to realise what Rachel must have been going through before. He was on constant tenterhooks, waiting impatiently and he wasn’t even sure what he was waiting for.

If Rachel wasn’t much the same, she would probably have been amused. Eddie was in a sour mood, snapping at everyone, including her, and so they’d taken to avoiding each other. There had been no argument, no harsh words but there was an undercurrent between them, an awkward fission of tension that lingered in the air between them. They never discussed it, never even acknowledged it but as if by mutual agreement, at the end of each day they returned to their separate homes, without even a text passing between them during their time apart.

It meant that when Eddie received a message from Andy asking to meet, he had nothing but time to do so.

“What the hell did you get into?”

Not the greeting Eddie had been expecting when he’d walked into the pub. He slid into a seat, shot Andy a look. “What are you talking about?”

“Stuart Hordley, that’s what!”

Eddie mouth was suddenly very dry. “You mean the fire?” he asked innocently. “I saw it on the news…”

“Arson, Eddie!”

“I’m sorry?”

Andy huffed, ran a hand over his head. “The fire was arson,” he repeated in a low voice. “So the investigation started looking at who might have wanted to harm Hordley construction, or the man himself. And it turns out a shorter answer might be who didn’t want to harm the man.”

Eddie could hear his heartbeat in his ears. “You’re on the investigation?” If he was, that was it. He and Rachel were dead in the water.

“No.”

Relief coursed through him.

“A mate of mine is.”

Not good. Eddie shifted in his seat, tried to keep his expression blank. “What do you want me to say here, Andy?”

The words that left the other man’s mouth weren’t suitable for polite company. Eddie winced, but said nothing as he slammed a pint on the table harder than necessary. “Do you have any idea what kind of position you’ve put me in?”

Now Eddie felt guilty. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I have information about an ongoing investigation. I should have said something, regardless of our relationship.”

Hope sparked. “Should have?”

Andy sighed, jaw set. “Others have come forward and admitted to being blackmailed,” he acknowledged. “In the grand scheme of things… one more won’t make much difference at this point.”

Eddie blew out a breath, sagging in his seat. “ _Thank you._ ”

“It’s still against the rules,” he said sharply. “I’m risking a lot here. I wouldn’t even consider it if Hordley didn’t deserve everything he’s getting.”

“You have no idea how grateful I am.” Eddie shook his head. His heart was pounding, the room spinning a little around him and he had to get away, just for a moment. “I’ll get more drinks in.”

He went off to the bar, and by the time he’d returned, Andy looked calmer as well. He took a large gulp of the beer Eddie handed him, shook his head. “Hordley is a piece of work, even more than you know.”

“How so?”

“You can’t tell anyone this, Eddie. I shouldn’t even be telling you.”

Eddie nodded. “I won’t.”

Andy sighed. “He’s facing multiple charges- blackmail, extortion, using illegal labour, bribery, more broken building regulations than I can count. And he’s being investigated for more. There are suspicions that he arranged for the sabotage of other companies, so they lost their contracts and he could swoop in and take over. More than one of his contracts was won illegally.”

Eddie had no trouble believing any of that.

“And I’m guessing,” Andy continued, eyeing him. “That your late-night hypothetical about strangulation was more than hypothetical.”

Eddie leant back in his chair, played with his glass while avoiding his gaze. “So, is he under arrest?”

“He will be, as soon as he turns up.”

“Turns up?” Eddie’s eyes snapped upwards. Andy didn’t notice, shrugging as he lifted his pint to his lips.

“He must have realised what was going to happen, and run for it. They’re looking for him, it won’t be long.”

Eddie was frozen, had to swallow hard before he could manage to speak. “They’re sure he ran?”

“Well, he’s disappeared without a word. What other explanation could there be? Guy’s not an idiot, he put two and two together and legged it.”

Could that be true? It would solve everything if it was, but the timing was just too perfect for Eddie’s liking. Then again, as far as he knew Hordley hadn’t been seen since leaving Rachel’s office. There was every chance he’d fled immediately afterwards.

Eddie wished he’d known sooner- it would have saved some certain awkward conversations.

“Eddie?” Andy was looking at him oddly, and he gave him a weak smile.

“Sorry. I was just thinking. Ra… my friend will be relieved that Hordley won’t be an issue anymore.”

Andy hummed, looking at him with faint suspicion. Eddie fought to keep his expression blank, innocent and it must have worked because his friend turned his attention back to his beer, and only did Eddie allow himself to relax back into his chair. “So… how are the kids?”

Safe topics, he thought, keeping his attention fixed on Andy as he brightened, launched into a story about a dance teacher and a pair of shoes. Stick to safe topics, and avoid all mention of Stuart Hordley with this man again. It seemed like a good plan.


	16. Chapter 16

Rachel wasn’t a suspicious person. She preferred to think of herself as justifiably cautious, something that had developed from years of experience. That same experience drove her to be more observational than most people realised. Which meant that when Eddie’s mood suddenly changed without an obvious reason, she noticed.

It didn’t grow darker, exactly. Nor did it get lighter. It was just… different. It worried her, but they still seemed to be unofficially avoiding each other outside of work and with the end of term first approaching, both were too busy in work to have an in-depth conversation. And she wasn’t even sure an attempt would be welcomed.

The thought sat heavier than she would have liked. In the grand scheme of things, she hadn’t known Eddie that long, had been… dating him, for lack of a better term, for even less time. The thought of losing him shouldn’t cause her stomach to drop like a stone and yet it did, and she wasn’t sure how she felt. And the feeling was made even worse by the fact that this wasn’t an argument. There hadn’t been a loud disagreement or harsh words exchanged, it was just… flat. Quiet and heart breaking.

She closed her eyes at the thought, buried her face in her hands. Somehow, Eddie had wormed his way into her life and now… now she might just lose him because of it. She should never have let it get this far, she lamented, slowly beginning to gather her thing up for the night. She should have known that being faced with the reality of what she had done was going to be too much for him, but she had allowed herself to hope and now she was just hurt, and why had she let herself trust him? Rachel closed her eyes, felt the grief choke her as she leant against the desk. This wasn’t Eddie’s fault, she knew. It was hers.

She closed the door to her office and began the walk down to her car, footsteps echoing in the empty corridors. Most people had gone home already, to their families and their children and their friends. She was the only one here, surprise, surprise. She sighed, too tired to be melancholy about that. She just couldn’t seem to stop making the same mistakes, she thought, destined to never do things any differently, to be the same person throughout her life.

The thought drew her up short. She was at the exit of the school, staring into the car park, where one other car sat conspicuously half a dozen spaces from hers and she couldn’t tear her gaze from it. Because she had changed, had been different and there was one, very obvious reason.

She didn’t even remember turning around, the clacking of her heels not even registering this time. Eddie was right where she thought he’d be, sat at his desk with his head ducked low, concentrating on a workbook. The sound of her approach wasn’t exactly quiet, and he looked up, eyes widening as she came to a stop, lip caught between her teeth. “Can we talk?”

“Are you alright?” He’d pushed upright, eyes scanning over her and that simple action, that one tiny thing had something warm and sweet bursting into life inside her. She stepped forward, dropped her bag to the floor without really noticing it.

“I’ve spent most of my life running,” she said quietly, and watched his brow furrow in confusion. “And I’ve gotten really good at it.”

“Rachel-”

“Please,” she interrupted, stepping closer once again. “Please let me get this out.” She waited, heart thumping as he nodded, remaining silent and she took a deep breath to quell the rising nausea in her stomach. “Eddie, I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t want to run from you.”

She watched as her words registered, his jaw dropping as shock settled onto his face and she hurried on before he could interrupt, or she could lose her nerve. “I know I’m a complete nightmare,” she continued quickly, “I’m not blind to my own faults. But you make me want to be better, be different in a really big, risk making a complete fool of myself kind of way and if you don’t feel the same, please God, tell me now because I don’t think- oh!”

She found herself with her lips suddenly occupied, the world centring itself on the man in front of her without warning. Eddie surging forward to kiss her hadn’t been the expected reaction, but she certainly wasn’t about to complain. One of his hands was cupping her head, the other resting on her waist to draw her closer and it was the sort of kiss that couldn’t be described- warm and soft and hard and passionate all at the same time- but the sort that would leave a lingering memory long after it was over.

Even when Eddie had drawn away, Rachel didn’t move for a long moment. It was only when she felt his thumb brush over her cheek that she allowed her eyes to flutter open, and found his own gaze fixed on her. “I don’t want you to run either.”

It took a second, but a slow smile spread across her face. Eddie wasted no time in drawing her into a tight embrace, cursing himself for allowing this to go on for so long. “Rachel…” he pulled back, and swallowed his words. They weren’t ready for what he’d been about to say, but by the look on her face she knew exactly what his words would have been. Her eyes went wide, for a long moment, until she swallowed hard and gave him a soft smile.

“Come home with me?”

Home sounded nice, he thought, and nodded.

**W.R.**

“Do you really think Stuart ran?”

Eddie was glad Rachel couldn’t see his face, because he had no idea what expression crossed it when she asked that particular question. They were sprawled on the sofa, bellies full of pasta and the best part of an entire bottle of wine. “I don’t know.”

She shifted, readjusted her head where it lay on his chest. When Eddie had told her that he needed to talk to her over dinner, the possible fate of Stuart Hordley hadn’t been the conversation topic she was expecting, but now, she could think of nothing else. Her teeth worried her lip, her hand finding his without much thought being given to it. “He scared me.”

The words hung in the air between them. She hadn’t said it aloud before, hadn’t really acknowledged it even to herself. Eddie’s grip on her tightened in response, stopping just short of painful but she found she didn’t mind a bit, pressing into him closer. Eddie kissed her temple, closed his eyes. “He won’t touch you again.”

“You can’t promise that, honey.”

“Rachel.” He nudged her so that she sat up, looked around at him and he cupped her face in his hand, gaze meeting hers head on. “I swear to you, he won’t touch you again.”

“You can’t be with me every second of the day.”

“Why not?” Amusement quirked his mouth into a grin, and she rolled her eyes, laid her head back on his shoulder.

“We’d kill each other within a week.”

“I’m not so sure.” He brushed a kiss over her hair, leant his cheek against the same spot. “I think kill is a bit of an overstatement. Severely annoy, drive each other to the point of insanity... all possibilities.”

She huffed, digging her elbow into his ribs. “Weren’t we having a serious conversation?”

“Serious is overrated.”

She rolled her eyes again, rested against him and relished in the feel of him against her, in the simple fact that he was here, solid and real and with no intent of walking away. Eddie seemed to feel the same, his arm reaching around her and tucking her in against his side. They lapsed into comfortable silence, content in each other’s company until without warning, Eddie sat up and dislodged her, earning a small frown. “What’s wrong?”

“This week… it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Eddie, what-?”

“No, I mean it.” His face was set into serious lines, and despite everything Rachel felt her stomach flip. “We were both miserable,” he continued, “and we both knew it. But we carried on anyway.”

She hesitated, not sure what to say to that. Was she supposed to say something to that?

“It shouldn’t have happened,” he repeated, and Rachel sighed, leant her head against her hand.

“Eddie, we’re always going to disagree on things.”

“Disagreeing isn’t the problem. Avoiding each other for a week is.”

She made a face. He had a point, she knew, even if it made her squirm to acknowledge it. “Okay. What are you suggesting?”

He reached for her hand, ran his thumb over her knuckles. “That we agree not to do it again.”

Rachel blinked. “Just like that?” Faint amusement echoed through her tone, but he remained as serious as ever.

“Yes, just like that. We’re too old for promises we might not keep and ultimatums that just annoy us. We did it, it was terrible. So let’s agree right here, right now, that no matter what happens neither of us will do it again.”

He wasn’t quite expecting her to lean forward and softly kiss him, her hand cupping his cheek so gently there was scarcely any pressure from the touch. When she pulled away, it wasn’t very far and her hand stayed where it was, thumb gently stroking over his cheekbone. “I like the sound of that,” she agreed in a murmur. “But I can make a promise too.”

“A promise?”

She nodded, humming an acknowledgement. “Eddie, you’re…” she hesitated, searching for the right words. “You have become so important to me,” she settled on, knowing it was nowhere near vehement enough. “And this, you and me… I can see it going somewhere. I am aware of my own flaws and how I act with other people and I’m going to try, as hard as I can to not push you away or try to run when I get scared. That’s my promise. I don’t want to lose you.”

Her words stole Eddie’s breath from him. He knew the enormity of this from her, knew what it meant for her to open up to him this way and the enormity of it settled into his very bones. “You won’t,” he promised, his hand still gripping hers. “You must know you’re important to me too. One of the most important people in my life.”

Her answering smile was brilliant, warm and bright and beautiful and the world around them could have gone up in smoke and Eddie wouldn’t have noticed.


End file.
